Wikipedia:Peer review/Daniel Webster/archive2

Daniel Webster
1st PR

Previous Peer Review only received a single review from an automated bot. I'm interested in improving the article to Featured Article status and would appreciate suggestion on how to do that. TonyJoe 17:59, 20 August 2006 (UTC)
 * I ran the auto peer review again and left the results on the talk page. I think increaing the lead needs to happen. I also did some minor cleanup on the article. You could also reduce the number of redundnat wikilinks. The paragraph that begins "Many New Englanders, including those of Portsmouth..." needs to either tell more about why what webster did was important or be removed. I personally dont like "...his proverbial national star... ". The "Upon his arrival," sentance needs to be broken up and cleaned up. "fall from his horse and a crushing blow to the head." He fell from his horse and then someone hit him? Overall you may want to look for long sentances and chop them up. Stats: 6009 words,188 links,6images, 15 categories.  I would say after some work getting the prose a little better and completeing the auto-suggestions its ready for FA-Ravedave (help name my baby) 04:09, 23 August 2006 (UTC)
 * Also check out the cool timeline on Pericles. That might be a cool addition. -Ravedave (help name my baby) 04:43, 23 August 2006 (UTC)
 * Hi! Thanks a lot for your response. I've always known that the sentences could use some chopping but I never really had the will to do it... I went through the article and I think I shortened some of the most obvious ones, as well as some of your other suggestions. I actually think I did most of what you recommended except increasing the lead; I'll do that sometime soon. I think the time line would be cool and I've always liked the Pericles article... it's actually where I got the idea for putting snippets of oratory and letters in the floating blue boxes. :p Thanks again for your help. TonyJoe 09:16, 23 August 2006 (UTC)