Wikipedia:Peer review/Dark Cloud/archive1

Dark Cloud
This peer review discussion has been closed. I'm not getting much activity from the VG project Peer Review so I thought I'd place a request normally. I've been working on this article and I want some pointers in which direction to take it and what needs improving the most. I've left the reference and cleanup tags at the top as although I feel I've fixed them mostly, I'd rather have someone else verify it. I'd ideally like the development section to be a little more filled out but there are very few sources from what I can find. Thanks,  Cr im so nF ox  talk 22:29, 13 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Comments by DragonZero


 * Gameplay needs to be rewritten so that it's generic and does not sound like a game guide. Especially the parts about the secret dungeon - that should be removed. The gameplay section should focus on the game engine and has to be referenced, usually through the manual.
 * I have done some rewriting of the gameplay section, but I do not think it is my strong point; if anyone wants to look over it or feel they can word it better, feel free.  Cr im so nF ox  talk 10:34, 22 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Gameplay looks good now, but it still sounds like a game guide in some parts. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 08:36, 23 January 2010 (UTC)

Ex.
 * "Completing additional villagers' requests gives the player new items. Upon reaching 100% completion, the player's characters are granted a special reward such as a unique weapon or a powerful battle move."
 * "A fishing minigame is also available in each area where the player can earn points for catching fish. These points can be traded in for prizes."
 * "Once it is full, the weapon can be levelled up. Weapons can be combined once they reach a certain level, granting the player a single weapon with the combined attributes of the two."


 * Georama mode might need to be merged to gameplay.
 * I've gone through the gameplay section and tweaked it. I tried to make information less specific and in-unverse. I think it still might need another go over though. References to come.  Cr im so nF ox  talk 01:46, 18 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Setting and characters need to be referenced.


 * Reception needs an expansion if possible.
 * I have added some detail in about plot and visuals and tweaked it a little. It's not quite as enough as I want it but I feel some of the review references are being overused. Is that an issue?  Cr im so nF ox  talk 10:34, 22 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Dates should be in Month Day Year.
 * ✅ It took me ages to realize. I presumed you meant in the refs; I was frantically looking through the article.  Cr im so nF ox  talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Oh, I mean it should be like "December 14, 2000".
 * If you mean in the article I can't find any that aren't like that. I thought references were allowed to be in the shorter format?  Cr im so nF ox  talk 01:46, 18 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Alternate texts need to be added on.
 * The Alternate text should be more generic as if explaining the scene to a blind person. Ex, the blind do not know what a "Dark Genie" looks like.
 * Made them more descriptive  Cr im so nF ox  talk 01:46, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
 * It's better, but you should describe the boy in front of the picture instead of calling him the main character. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 02:47, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
 * It's better, but you should describe the boy in front of the picture instead of calling him the main character. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 02:47, 18 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Fix link to Inventory.
 * There's not an actual page for inventory, games-wise, but it is explained on the disambiguation page. What's the case with that? De-link it, link to general inventory term or leave as is?  Cr im so nF ox  talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Leave it unlinked.


 * Needs sources in many locations.


 * Is RPGclassic a reliable source?
 * Removed  Cr im so nF ox  talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Needs Audio Soundtrack picture.
 * I'm not quite sure what you mean by this... Like an image of the soundtrack?  Cr im so nF ox  talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Yeah, usually it's the image of the CD cover for the game. There's one here. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 21:53, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
 * ✅. Alhough I wouldn't mind if someone looked over the rationale, I think I've done it right.  Cr im so nF ox  talk 01:46, 18 January 2010 (UTC)


 * I think you should add a

template under reception so that the box doesn't interfere with the reception section.
 * ✅  Cr im so nF ox  talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)

That's all I've got for now. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 09:56, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Added onto original comments. DragonZero (talk · contribs) 21:56, 17 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the review; replied accordingly above. I'll work on the others.  Cr im so nF ox  talk 17:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Replied to points 1 and 4. I'm still looking for an answer for the Inventory query.  Cr im so nF ox  talk 10:34, 22 January 2010 (UTC)