Wikipedia:Peer review/David Lynch/archive1

David Lynch
Brilliant filmmaker, but the article on him seems to be a little messy right now. Any suggestions on how to improve it? (Ibaranoff24 06:06, 30 June 2006 (UTC))


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, Andy t 16:30, 30 June 2006 (UTC)
 * Do try Andy's stuff ^^ - it's a good exercise for making you think about the article, even when the automated comments aren't directly relevant. Other than that, here are my thoughts. Most of the prose content is in the career section. Probably a good idea to expand some of the others, probably by moving material around, although possibly by adding new material as well. For example:
 * -The first section of 'career' isn't about career at all, it covers Lynch's childhood. Perhaps combine that para with 'Family Life' and beef it up a bit to give a brief overview of his family life (like first section of Damon Hill). You could move the 'Finnish Grandparents' thing here from the 'Trivia section'.
 * -Influences ought to be an important section, but the content is very brief at present. The first para ('Oscar Kokoschka') from 'other interests' could be moved to here, as it is about an influence and is not an 'other interest'! Possibly the 'Wizard of Oz' as well, from the same section, but you perhaps ought to check whether it really is an influence. There must be other stuff on Lynch's influences out there (in the refs perhaps?), but you'd have to do a bit more research to find it.
 * -There are a couple of awards mentioned in the section 'Lost Highway....' that aren't mentioned in the 'Awards and Honors' section - they should be.
 * -Move the trivia stuff into the relevant sections, or if you can't find a home for it then lose it. Two bits in particular might form the nucleus of new sections: The para starting 'Certains images or types of images....' should go in a section called something like 'Directorial style' (that's not a very good name, but you see what I mean?). The para starting 'Film critic Roger Ebert....' should go in a section called something like 'Critical response'. There are some other bits scattered through 'Career' that could be put in such a section too.
 * -Maybe have a look at some of the 'Media' or 'Art, Architecture and Archaeology' Featured articles for other ideas for layout. I couldn't see any Film Director FAs at a quick glance.

Hope this is helpful! 4u1e 07:19, 1 July 2006 (UTC)