Wikipedia:Peer review/Deltarune/archive1

Deltarune


I've listed this article for peer review because I want to bring it to GAN.

Thanks, Davest3r08 > : )  (talk)  14:02, 4 December 2023 (UTC)

Comments from Z1720
Comments after a quick skim:


 * The plot section is quite long for the length of the article: Is there a way to reduce this?
 * The "Development and release" section is quite long. Can this be split up, or use level 3 headings? ✅
 * I see why you have split up the reception by chapter, but the reception for Chapter 1 is much longer. Is there a way to split this up by type of information, or reducing the number of words in this section? ✅
 * Much of the reception falls into the "X says Y" pattern, with lots of quotes used. Consider reading WP:RECEPTION and finding a way to eliminate the quotes.

I hope this helps. Z1720 (talk) 19:47, 7 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Z1720, is this edit that I made ok? — Davest3r08 > : )  (talk)  12:30, 8 December 2023 (UTC)
 * I'm not finished yet, just asking for feedback. — Davest3r08 > : )  (talk)  12:30, 8 December 2023 (UTC)
 * "Reception" suffers from MOS:OVERSECTION. Each section with a heading should be about 2-4 paragraphs long, not one. The other edits look good. Z1720 (talk) 15:03, 8 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Z1720, as for the Chapter 1 reception, do I just remove some of the reviews? — Davest3r08 > : )  (talk)  01:26, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure what you mean by "remove the reviews". What I would do is focus more on blanket statements like "several reviewers praised...." and then cite all of the reviews that mention that praise. A recent featured article that can show how a reception can be written is Doom (1993 video game). Z1720 (talk) 02:50, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Z1720, I think I might request a GOCE copyedit request for the reception and plot sections (after I significantly contribute to the article, of course, I'm still finding sources). — Davest3r08 > : )  (talk)  18:01, 12 December 2023 (UTC)