Wikipedia:Peer review/Desert of Desolation/archive1

Desert of Desolation
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I'm working to build it up to GA quality at least. I think it's only a few steps away from a GA - a bit more in the lead, a bit less of reception for sure - but anything you can think of to push it along, let me know.

Thanks, BOZ (talk) 22:33, 15 March 2010 (UTC)


 * A couple of things that I noticed while reading through to try and help:
 * Is there any more neutral image that can be used besides the "Pharoah" adventure module?
 * Is there any additional imagery that can be added to this article? Perhaps art work, or images that elaborate on the modules reception.
 * In "Tracy Hickman feels that the module Pharaoh can teach positive Christian lessons, saying of the eponymous Pharaoh character, the "apparent misery to which this figure was condemned by his own lust for wealth continues to teach the value of deeds over possessions to all who play that game today..." I don't see a mention of Christian lessons in the quote. Although it appears in the reference, perhaps you could use a quote that better represents that statement.
 * The reception section seems a little bit saturated. Consider narrowing this down a bit, and make it more focused.

Regards, - Cam T undefined 12:36, 22 March 2010 (UTC)