Wikipedia:Peer review/Dexter (episode)/archive1

===Dexter (episode)===


 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. Cornucopia and I (and 97198) have worked on this article over the last few weeks, and it was just promoted to GA status. I think that it has a really good chance of becoming a FA, but it needs some more polishing before it is taken to FAC, and any comments on how to further approve this article would be great.

Thanks, -- Music 26/  11  21:05, 20 February 2009 (UTC) :Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Peer review/Dexter (episode)/archive1. Image comment: I doubt File:DexterPilot.jpg satisfies NFCC; a free image of a plastic doll with ribbons tied to its limbs could easily be created. I haven't seen the episode, but perhaps you could find another image that serves to identify the episode for which a free equivalent can't be created (e.g. an image of the head in Dexter's car). Bradley0110 (talk) 17:57, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * You're right, I had thought about the head thrown on Dexter's car, but thought this image identified the article, but I hadn't thought about a free equivalent. There are a few possibilities this image shows Dexter after the head was thrown at him from the Ice Truck, this image shows Dexter chasing the Ice Truck. Which one do you think is better? -- Music 26/  11  22:13, 22 February 2009 (UTC)


 * Erm, neither really. In the first image you can't really tell that the head is a head, and Dexter is quite small. The second one is a little better because it shows the ice truck, but then someone might argue that it could be any truck (bear in mind that I only comment on images that definitely fail NFCC, not borderline cases). If I had to choose between the two, I'd say the second one. Maybe you could seek a second opinion from someone with more fair-use experience? Bradley0110 (talk) 09:46, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * I wouldn't recommend either picture. I'll try to find a better one now.  Corn.u. co.pia  •  Disc.u s.sion   05:28, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * These are the best I could find: 1, 2, 3, and 4.  Corn.u. co.pia  •  Disc.u s.sion   04:29, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Images 3 and 4 seem the best to me.-- Music 26/  11  12:21, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Edit conflict: Tricky choice. 4 is quite good, in that you could use the "costuming and make-up" rationale. 3 is a no-no since someone could argue that you could just have a free picture of the actors. What's going on in 1? Bradley0110 (talk) 12:23, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * You're right about image three. In that case, image four would be the best option, so if you think it's the best choice I'll upload it. Image one shows dexter at Jeworski's crime scene, but that image is a bit unstable, because the Jeworski side-plot is only mentioned briefly. Also, what do you think the caption should say if we use image 4?-- Music 26/  11  16:55, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * I don't know what caption should be used for 4--just a short descriptive one will do (rather than an absurdly long one like in The Stolen Earth). It's the fair-use rationale that matters. Bradley0110 (talk) 13:27, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Image has been added.-- Music 26/  11  16:37, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Looks good. Bradley0110 (talk) 17:33, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments from Natural Cut: The section 'CBS scheduling controversy' could use a better name since the group involved objected to the idea of airing the series at all rather than just the time slot. The paragraph following the PTC's statement also needs a rewrite. Start with CBS's response to the PTC (preferably elaborating on when the show's timeslot was moved to), then you can mention that some critics still objected. Or start out with the critics in question agreeing with the PTC if that's the case, and structure CBS's response accordingly.

I question how much of the editing was truly in response to the PTC as opposed to things they'd have done anyway. I remember a friend and Sopranos fan mentioning that show was going to be on A&E and saying how much of the content - obscenities, violence, nudity - would have to be edited out. I can see the timeslot shift, but censoring 'F-bombs' is something even Jon Stewart does. Natural Cut (talk) 06:22, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * I'll get to fixing your concers A.S.A.P., but I don't have much time yet (since what you're asking might take some more time than minor fixes). Don't think I'm ignoring you or anything like that.-- Music 26/  11  16:55, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, here are some suggestions for improvement, mostly language and MOS nitpicks.
 * Name is not standard - pilot episodes are generally titled "Pilot (Series Name)" - see two FAs Pilot (House) and Pilot (Smallville), which are probably useful model articles for ideas to follow too
 * I suppose the article could be moved, but it's never referred to as "Pilot", it is always referred to as "Dexter", even on the DVD release. "No Such Thing as Vampires", is also a pilot episode, but the article name is not changed to what you are suggesting.-- Music 26/  11  17:11, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * I do not write TV articles, so I was just following model articles. If the name of the episode is Dexter and it is one of two pilots, then this needs to be made clearer in the article itself. As for what to call the article, could you aks at WikiProject Television? Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 22:11, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * I've contacted WikiProject Television, you can read it here.-- Music 26/  11  12:03, 28 February 2009 (UTC)


 * Problem sentence The PTC did not want the show to be broadcast because it "compelled viewers to empathize with a serial killer", in response, CBS replaced expletives, cut out bloody scenes and gave the show a TV-14. The direct quote needs a ref per WP:LEAD and WP:MOSQUOTE, and the word rating should be added after TV-14.
 * Fixed.-- Music 26/  11  17:08, 26 February 2009 (UTC)


 * In general the language is decent, but needs some polish to get to the professional level required for WP:FAC. A few examples (not an exhaustive list):
 * Critical reactions to the pilot were mostly positive, although a relatively small amount [number?] of critics thought it was "unpleasant" to watch.[1][2]
 * Reworded.-- Music 26/  11  17:08, 26 February 2009 (UTC)


 * extra word? "although" or missing phrase Dexter inspects the victim and is shocked to learn that although the chopped-up corpse has no blood whatsoever.
 * Fixed.-- Music 26/  11  17:08, 26 February 2009 (UTC)


 * Why is "eventual" needed in The eventual premiere of the show on CBS was on February 17, 2008, and was watched by 8.1 million viewers.?
 * Fixed.-- Music 26/  11  17:08, 26 February 2009 (UTC)


 * The doll in the caption appears to be dismembered, not just severed
 * Fixed.-- Music 26/  11  17:08, 26 February 2009 (UTC)


 * Most of the quotes have the period inside the punctuation, but this is to be used here only if it is a full or nearly full sentence - see WP:MOSQUOTE and logical quiatations
 * Fixed.-- Music 26/  11  17:08, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 15:57, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments from
 * You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
 * http://media.www.washburnreview.org/media/storage/paper1140/news/2008/09/29/Entertainment/dexter.Book.Series.Similar.To.Tv-3458389.shtml (current ref 4) is actually the college newspaper so should reflect that.
 * Done.-- Music 26/  11  12:21, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 01:35, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Brief comment from
 * I was about to do a full copyedit of the article, but only got through the lead before I decided I should bring this here: both the lead says that (and is elaborated on under Production) "A subsidy from the state of Florida moved the crew to Los Angeles", which is completely incorrect. Why on earth would Florida pay for Dexter's production to be moved to California? It's a complete misinterpretation of the source, which says that Florida payed an initial subsidy (expecting filming to stay in Miami) but the crew decided to move to LA mid-production (the state of Florida did not pay them to do this). The source also mentions that Florida did offer subsequent subsidies for the crew to travel to Miami and shoot some scenes even though the vast bulk of filming was taking place in LA - but this was further enticing the crew to keep filming in Miami, and not in any way endorsing the move to California. Hope that clears things up :) — 97198 (talk) 09:24, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Well, it seems I completely misread the thing. I understand it better now, but I'm not sure how to put it in the article. Could you help me?-- Music 26/  11  12:23, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Hopefully that's a little clearer. I was also wondering why, in the lead, LA Weekly isn't given a ref after the quote "unpleasant" (though the other two publications are). — 97198 (talk) 06:21, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * There wasn't really a reason why I took two (it became more obvious that one source was missing when the names of the publications were added in the lead). I've added it now, thanks for pointing that out. Great work on rewording the subsidy thing by the way, since I didn't have a clue how to put it. Thanks for your help.-- Music 26/  11  16:55, 2 March 2009 (UTC)