Wikipedia:Peer review/Dragon Quest/archive1

Dragon Quest
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to know what needs to be done before bringing this up as a FAC. As I have only recently started seriously helping with the article after creating the TF, please feel free to mention stuff that needs addressing.

Thanks, 陣  内 Jinnai 20:24, 3 October 2009 (UTC)
 * Looking at the article, I wonder if some of the pictures should be taken out. Your opinion? GamerPro64 (talk) 00:58, 6 October 2009 (UTC)
 * Well it's still within the 3-5 set by FAs, however the Spinoff one is probably the least importance to the article. The logo is there for obvious reasons, the slime is the company's mascot and represents the basic artstyle, the battle screenshot depitcts the iconic nature of the game which was copied and the CD album, well without a seperate article on it, it is a notable album. So if any would be removed it would be the spinoff one as it's one of only many spinoffs. 陣 内 Jinnai 01:35, 6 October 2009 (UTC)
 * If it doesn't have an article then it is not a notable album. Megata Sanshiro (talk) 07:45, 6 October 2009 (UTC)
 * I doesn't have its own article because that takes time. It is notable as a first of its kind. 陣 内 Jinnai 21:02, 20 October 2009 (UTC)
 * Remove the image. It doesn't add anything to the article, and it's blurry anyway. If the album artwork had had critical commentary in the prose, then maybe, but since it's not even mentioned at all it's just decoration. It's a violation of WP:NFCC. The Prince (talk) 22:50, 20 October 2009 (UTC)

Another question - should the spinoff series be coveted from table format to timeline per the main series, kept as is or something else? I'd appreciate some comments on this and elsewhere so we have less of a struggle when going for a FAC. 陣 内 Jinnai 02:38, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: I think this needs some work before it is ready to pass at FAC, so here are some suggestions for improvement.
 * There are two dabs - actually both are redirects to this page, and an article should not link to itself
 * The images seem to lack alt text, or at least need text that is different from their captions - see WP:ALT
 * ✅ - The DQ logo is purely decorative. 陣 内 Jinnai 21:06, 19 October 2009 (UTC)
 * I would also look at WP:NFCC for guidance on the fair use images
 * The first sentence in the lead seems too complicated for me - according to WP:LEAD The article should begin with a short declarative sentence, answering two questions for the nonspecialist reader: "What (or who) is the subject?" and "Why is this subject notable?" The information in the first sentence should be in the lead, but not all in the first sentence.
 * Edited that. I had to make it 2 sentances as it otherwise would have probably have been a run-on sentance due to its structure. 陣 内 Jinnai 21:14, 19 October 2009 (UTC)
 * The lead does not seem to follow WP:LEAD as a summary of the article. My rule of thumb is that every header should at least be mentioned in the lead, but I did not see any of the common elements section headers explicitly mentioned in the lead (Gameplay, Monsters, Loto/Erdrick, Zenithia)
 * Added some info. I don't think the loto/Edrick and Zenithia are important enough to mention as they are just important as 2 trilogies, the latter of which wasn't originally canon. 陣 内 Jinnai 21:39, 19 October 2009 (UTC)
 * I am confused by this sentence Four Dragon Quest installments were released on the NES with the first two concurrently released in Japan on the MSX;[5][6] ... I think it would be clearer if it said "[The first] four Dragon Quest installments were released on the NES..." (how I understood it) and the release dates given for the first four are not even the same year, so the concurrent part needs more explanation.
 * Changed the sentance. The concurrent was meant for the MSX and NES. 陣 内 Jinnai 21:39, 19 October 2009 (UTC)
 * There are several short (one or two sentence) paragraphs that need to be combined with others or expanded if possible to improve the flow of the prose.
 * Combined one of them. The rest appear to be talking about different items and that are broken in the manner similar to larger paragraphs. 陣 内 Jinnai 21:51, 19 October 2009 (UTC)
 * Problem sentence Dragon Quest X has been announced for the Wii.[21][1][22] first can a year be added? Second, refs are supposed to be in numerical order, so here it would be "for the Wii.[1][21][22]"
 * Done. GamerPro64 (talk) 00:01, 19 October 2009 (UTC)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 23:18, 18 October 2009 (UTC)
 * The table of spin offs is a bit hard to understand as it has no title or introductory text - even if it just said "This is a list of all spin-off games released as of 2009." would help.
 * See my above question (just before your comments) about this. I'd like some comments about my ideas first before editing this section which I know does need editing. 陣 内 Jinnai 21:51, 19 October 2009 (UTC)
 * There are many video game FAs that would be potentially useful model articles for ideas and examples to follow.
 * The automated tips (in the box) have several suggestions that should be looked at too.

A bit more ,,, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 01:10, 19 October 2009 (UTC)
 * The images need to have individual fair use rationales for each article they are used in - this is done for the image in the infobox and the album cover, but not for the other two currently in the article.
 * Done. 陣 内 Jinnai 21:31, 20 October 2009 (UTC)
 * The images also need to list their sources better - for example the image File:Rockett.jpg has no source listed.
 * Make sure refs have publishers - for example current ref 74 is "^ "WEIRD AND WONDERFUL RECORDS". 2008. http://gamers.guinnessworldrecords.com/records/weird_and_wonderful.aspx. Retrieved September 17, 2008. Needs to list the publisher (Guinnes Book of World Records)
 * Done. 陣 内 Jinnai 21:31, 20 October 2009 (UTC)

I prefer the table vs the timeline - the timeline shows one data point per game (a year), but the table shows up to 5 or 6 - for example Dragon Warrior Monsters shows the original title (I owuld perhaps say "original Japanese title" here) and gives 3 dates in Japan (with game systems) and one date each in North America and the PAL region (I would link that too). I can see the list being made into a standalone article (list), probably with the other main DQ games (is there already a List of Dragon Quest games?). If that were made into a separate list, the timeline might be a nice way to show the most important info here. In any case, I would also consider making the list sortable (ask if you do not know how to do this). Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 01:45, 27 October 2009 (UTC)
 * Well the timeline for the main series was made to conform to other series like Final Fantasy, but I was asking more for the spinoff series. Thanks for your input. 陣 内 Jinnai 17:15, 3 November 2009 (UTC)