Wikipedia:Peer review/Dwight Schrute/archive1

Dwight Schrute

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I am trying to get to FA, but need to make it perfect first.

Thanks, Red  Thunder  21:21, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 02:07, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * While it is clear that a lot of work has been put into this article, it needs some more work to get up to FA standards. A model article is often useful for ideas and examples to follow. I note that Palpatine, Troy McClure and Jabba the Hutt are all FAs about fictional characters. There may be more good model FAs at Featured_articles
 * The lead needs to be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself (such as his World Anime Expo T-shirt). My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but the Bobblehead Doll is not mentioned in the lead. Please see WP:LEAD
 * Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase. Article needs a few more references, for example Dwight craves authority over others and relishes any minor task that Michael or anyone else gives him. Though Dwight acts like a know-it-all, he is actually quite gullible and naïve. For this reason, he is easily tricked and tormented by his desk-mate and fellow salesman Jim Halpert. Dwight speaks in a halting, dramatic manner, even in casual conversations. is uncited. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
 * Biggest problem I see is that the article is mostly presented from an in universe perspective and needs to be presented from an out of universe perspective - see WP:IN-U. Look at the model articles and see how they deal with the character - how do the creators of the show talk about Schrute? What has the critical reception been to him as a character? Besides the VP joke, what other popular culture references are there to him? See WP:WEIGHT Similarly the sources are nearly all from the Office - article needs more independent third-party sources.

Comments from
 * You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
 * Per the MOS, the graphical curly quotes are frowned on and shouldn't be used.
 * Per the MOS, link titles shouldn't be in all capitals.
 * Hm, what makes http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g52842-d730099-Reviews-Schrute_Farms-Honesdale_Pennsylvania.html a reliable source?
 * Likewise http://www.givememyremote.com/remote/dwight-schrute-accepts-john-mccains-vice-presidental-nomination/? And should we be linking to this as it might be a copyright violation?
 * I noticed some statements that are unreferenced, including the last part of the Character information section, and the first paragraph of coworker relations. Plus others.
 * Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 11:52, 12 July 2008 (UTC)