Wikipedia:Peer review/Eazy-E/archive2

Eazy-E
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I've fixed the article up a lot and I really think it is FA quality but the last time I nominated it for FA it failed, so I'm hoping for some good suggestions. Thanks, Crowz  RSA  20:58, 29 May 2011 (UTC)
 * Previous peer review

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this article, here are some suggestions for improvement with an eye to FAC. I still do not think this would pass there in its current state.
 * Toolbox on this PR page finds one dead External link see here
 * The FA Criteria I see this having the most trouble with are 1a (professional level of English) and 1b (comprehensive). I will try to point out issues with both, but will start with 1b
 * I read the article on Ruthless Records to try and understand what was going on in this article better. It mentions several things that are not in this article or are not very clear in this article. For example, Boyz-n-the-Hood was released as Ruthless and EazyE's first single, but this article does not mention that it was a single that I can see.
 * Although Bones Thugs-n-Harmony is listed as an associated act in the infobox, it is not mentioned in the article itself that I could see. The Ruthless Records article says Eazy-E both signed them and executive produced their first album. These facts are not in this article but should be.
 * I do not know about the other groups listed as associated acts in the infobox, but if he was producer for them or signed them, they should be mentioned here (since his influence on the music industry went beyond his own performances).
 * Finally the Ruthless Reords article mentions his wife Tomica and her ownership of the record company after his death. She is not mentioned by name that I can see (though I assume she is one of the six women he had seven children with).
 * There are things in the article that do not seem to meet Notability. The article ends with "On March 30, 1995, four days after Eazy-E's death, Tom Elerwine, a Daily Arts editor for The Michigan Daily covered Eazy's career in a feature story.[61]" Articles in college and university newspapers may not meet notability. More importantly, I assume there were mutliple newspaper articles on him and his career after his death - why single this one out?
 * Also the Ruthless Records article says a movie on NWA is planned, which should be in Legacy. The Ruthless Records article lacks refs for some things, so it may be some of these points are not backed by refs.
 * I would try to use a cite from something other than the JDL for material on that controversy - independent third-party sources are best.
 * Language - one example - avoid needless repetition - When Ruthless signees Dr. Dre and Ice Cube wrote "Boyz-n-the-Hood", Eazy-E formed the group N.W.A with Dr. Dre and Ice Cube. Also "signees" is a bit of an awkward word. Perhaps something like "When Ruthless artists Dr. Dre and ICe Cube wrote "Boyz-n-the-Hood", Eazy-E formed the group NWA with them." Again the Ruthless article says the single was originally written for another artist, so this may be more complicated than this sentence makes it seem.
 * One more - Early life mentions Ruthless Records but not that he he co-founded it. It probably should.
 * Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 13:04, 14 June 2011 (UTC)