Wikipedia:Peer review/Edward Oxford/archive1

Edward Oxford


Edward Oxford was an interesting individual. A failed assassin of Queen Victoria and an internee of Bedlam and Broadmoor, before shipping off to Oz for a new life with a new name. A respected member of the church, a published author and a wife and family—without anyone knowing of his old life. A trip to FAC is anticipated after PR. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 20:05, 7 August 2023 (UTC)


 * AFter reading I don't understand why did he do it—was he just nuts? (t &#183; c)  buidhe  21:15, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
 * There’s no real answer to that! Possibly a temporary aberration, but that’s just my OR. - SchroCat (talk) 19:46, 8 August 2023 (UTC)

UndercoverClassicist
Commenting as requested. As expected, a great story: it's quite a complex one, and credit for keeping the thread of it clear. The usual run of queries, quibbles and (mostly pretty small) nit-picks below, and I've given the article a very gentle copyedit. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 14:08, 8 August 2023 (UTC)


 * I'm not sure about the amount of focus on Daniel M'Naghten, particularly in the lead. I understand the value in 'continuing the story' of the insanity defence, and of using that case to show the backlash against the comparative mercy shown to Oxford, but devoting a quarter of the lead to things that happened to someone else seems a little excessive. Was Oxford's name brought up during M'Naghten's trial?
 * It’s more that his name was brought up after the trial, first by Victoria, then others. The combination of the two insanity defences on two high-profile targets was what led to the M'Naghten Rules. Those rules are still used around the world (or were the basis of laws in the UK, USA, Australia, Canada, Hong Kong, India, Ireland, New Zealand and Norway. Without Oxford (or M'Naghten), those rules would never have been drawn up. - SchroCat (talk) 16:30, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Yes, I slightly changed my mind on this when I saw that Victoria had made the connection, but maybe that paragraph could be slightly reworked so that it remains about Oxford (in his capacity as a forerunner to M'Naghten) rather than seeming to come from a different article? UndercoverClassicist (talk) 23:34, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Of course! I’ll sort that shortly. - SchroCat (talk) 05:48, 10 August 2023 (UTC)


 * at two the State Criminal Lunatic Asylums: two of or the two, I think. It might be worth explaining precisely what that title meant, either here or in the body text.
 * under the new name John Freeman: double-quotes for the name, as we've done later for "Liber" (see MOS:WORDSASWORDS).
 * a book, Lights and Shadows of Melbourne Life, which looks at both the wealthy and seedy parts of Melbourne: I'm not totally clear from this description what sort of book it is; a memoir, a tourist guide or a work of sociology?
 * I'm afraid I'm still not clear; my sense is that it's basically journalism, but our account isn't incompatible with it being a novel. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 16:44, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * OK, will work on the wording a little. - SchroCat (talk) 17:42, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * You might want to give Drummond's title as "private secretary to the Prime Minister" to avoid the double bluelink.
 * Wikilink Birmingham?
 * George was a goldsmith and chaser and earning an average of £20 a week: not wrong, but I think better phrased with all finite verbs (...and earned) or without the and.
 * Hannah was, at various times, threatened, starved, beaten and had a pot thrown at her, which left a scar: I don't like the passive voice here: particularly in such a fraught topic, best not to give any impression of minimising who did this.
 * Jennie Sinclair, Edward's biographer: this reads a little like Sinclair is Oxford's only biographer.
 * I’m ok with it - I’ve used the format before, often multiple times in the same article. - SchroCat (talk) 08:20, 9 August 2023 (UTC)
 * George was a little odd when younger: a bit vague, and I'm not sure the phrasing is quite encyclopaedic. Is that a quotation, or does Sinclair give any more details?
 * he had "fits of unprovoked, maniacal laughter", which caused the failure of two food outlets his mother was then operating: the grammatical reading of this is that it was strictly the laughter that sunk the two food outlets, rather than any other erratic behaviour; is that correct?
 * his aunt's pub: phrased as if we know her, though I'm struggling to come up with a better way to do it. Do we know whose sister the aunt was?
 * Unfortunately not. - SchroCat (talk) 08:32, 9 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Suggest being clear that Hounslow is in London (it's linked, but that shouldn't replace an explanation.)
 * I’ve added that it was then in Middlesex. - SchroCat (talk) 08:32, 9 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Why have we given St Luke's, London with the London? By my count this is the third London location mentioned in a row.
 * He was sacked on 30 April and given £5 for his a quarter's salary: something's gone a bit wrong here. Do we mean that he was given £5, a quarter's salary, as a kind of severance payment, or that he was paid £5 for his four months of work?
 * where he practised with their guns: not a typo for the guns?
 * No: he used the gallery’s guns
 * leaving Oxford there: grammatically, there should be Birmingham; suggest in Lambeth.
 * Is it worth pointing out somewhere that the cockade was a symbol of (French) Republican revolution? It seems at least plausible that Campbell spent so long on Young England because he hoped to convince the jury that Oxford was a would-be republican regicide.
 * as it got to within a couple of metres of Oxford: consider a better verb than got to: drew within...?
 * The carriage continued on to Victoria's equerries, Colonel Edward Pery Buckley and General Sir Edward Bowater, who had not heard the gunshots.: I'm struggling to visualise this: were they waiting for it somewhere further along? Presumably, if Victoria's report is accurate, they were quite a long way away, given that they didn't hear the shots?
 * This is a slightly tricky one. Her diary says “The Equerries who had ridden through the garden, in order to meet us at the Archway, knew nothing of the occurrence & were greatly alarmed.” I presume “the Archway” is Marble Arch, but I don’t know why the equerries would ride through the palace gardens to exit near Marble Arch (I don’t even remember there being an exit on that side - the nearest would be by the Royal Mews). - SchroCat (talk) 07:04, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Hm - might be the best we can do, then. Is there an account of this in a secondary source? UndercoverClassicist (talk) 08:11, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Looking into this one further. - SchroCat (talk) 17:40, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I've taken out the whole equerry bit altogether. Some sources say they accompanied her the whole way, others omit the fact altogether and Victoria is clear they met them further up (and it's an odd detail to misremember in a diary written only a few hours later), so I'm going with the sources that omit the point and leave it until a secondary source clarifies it sometime. - SchroCat (talk) 13:23, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * MOS:CONFORM would encourage us to bring Victoria's capitalisation and punctuation more in line with modern usage, though I think this is fairly minor.
 * roughed up is a little colloquial and, I think, pretty strongly BrE; could we use a more formal term?
 * Subsequent newspaper speculation suggested the organisation may be connected to the Chartists, the Germans or a faction of the Orange Order within the Tories: per WP:POPE, I'd briefly explain who these people were and why they might be assassinating the Queen - I'm drawing a blank on the Germans!
 * Our introduction of Henry Cadogan (his title) isn't really an introduction: why should the reader care about him?
 * taken from the police station to Home Department: the Home Department? I think that's an institution rather than a place (cf. "taken from the police station to the Grenadier Guards"); suggest "the offices of the Home Department", with the actual location if known.
 * While in Newgate, Oxford was examined by several doctors specialising in mental illness: did the pathologist and the surgeon really specialise in mental illness, rather than pathology and surgery?
 * he charged Oxford with "maliciously and unlawfully discharging two pistols at the Queen and Prince Albert". The charge of high treason: it's not spelled out that this charge was high treason, or what made that wording imply such a charge.
 * Is "attorney" the right word in England at this time?
 * ✅ (I think I’m right in saying it is technically correct, but I’ve changed for a more precise term) - SchroCat (talk) 10:33, 9 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I suppose we do (and did) have an attorney-general, but agreed that is better. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 12:13, 9 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Does Moran offer any explanation for the hour-long Young England performance?
 * they could not prove whether the pistols were loaded or not: a common tautology: enough as they could not prove whether the pistols were loaded or, better, they could not prove that the pistols were loaded.
 * dust and dust: is this meant to be dust and something else?
 * the arresting officer said Oxford may not have used the words he remembered: who remembered - Oxford or the officer? More generally, this sentence is a bit clunky.
 * Bethlam is first mentioned via its archivist but only introduced a little later, which is slightly awkward.
 * I’ve dropped the name from the first mention to have it all in one place. - SchroCat (talk) 17:40, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Oxford was sentenced to be detained at Her Majesty's pleasure, a verdict that allowed the state to incarcerate him as long as it wished. I'd appreciate some context here. Nowadays, that's a fairly standard response to someone being found not guilty of a serious crime by reason of insanity, but has this ever happened before? Was the judge following precedent or making it, in other words?
 * I see the law that the judge cited dated back to 1800: do we know if it had been applied in this way before? In other words, how significant is Oxford in the development of the insanity defence? UndercoverClassicist (talk) 21:21, 11 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I think that may be a little outside the scope of the article. The idea had been around before him, but his impact was more around the McNaughton rules, rather than the defence itself - at least that's the sense I'm getting from the sources. I'm happy to be persuaded otherwise though! - SchroCat (talk) 12:42, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I'm not a fan of circa (or abbreviations in general) in flowing body text; would replace with "around" in that circumstance.
 * The quote about drawing (singular) isn't quite properly integrated, as it's clearly talking about Oxford's drawings (plural).
 * The case notes on him in February 1954: 1854?
 * Do we have any idea of how Oxford managed to study so widely while in Bedlam?
 * Nope. There was nothing in the sources, I think, but I’ll look a little wider to see if something comes up. - SchroCat (talk) 19:03, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
 * inmates were paid a small sum for working, he had managed to save between £50 and £60: this seems to be a non sequitur given that we gloss £50 as a rather large sum of about £5,000 today.
 * I think the journalist was way out, but that’s the figure they report. I’ve tried to steer readers a little with the Sinclair figure. - SchroCat (talk) 19:03, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Did The Times talk about being paid "a small sum"? If not, we might split: something like A journalist in The Times reported that Oxford had managed to save between £50 and £60;(cite Times) inmates were paid a small sum for working,(cite?) Sinclair gives Oxford's savings as £6 17s when he left Broadmoor. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 12:15, 9 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Yes, it’s The Times that call it “A small pecuniary reward” and “out of his small earnings”. - SchroCat (talk) 07:25, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * If we're confident that we wouldn't share the Times' impression (is there some sarcasm going on here), I'd be tempted to frame it in a way that fits the reader's likely assessment rather than the newspaper's (that is, that £50 was no small amount of money). A thought, though: have you been able to cast eyes on the original? I wonder if the zero might have crept in from a reading or transcription error? UndercoverClassicist (talk) 08:13, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I only use the original copies (there are too many errors in the OCR transcriptions), and it’s definitely £50. I think it’s a bit of early shock journalism going on: it’s unlikely he would have saved such a sum, particularly as he didn’t have enough for his fare to Oz not that long afterwards. The journalist also refers to him as "a fat, elderly man", which isn’t the impression the image at the top of the page gives! - SchroCat (talk) 08:43, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * This one's weird but in ways beyond our power to resolve, I suspect. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 20:35, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * What is a steward in the Bedlam context?
 * Oxford was able to buy a new wardrobe: given that some of our readers aren't native English speakers, I'd rephrase to clarify that we mean clothes, not furniture.
 * I'd spell out that Liber is Latin for "Free man".
 * The penultimate paragraph on Oxford's Australian life has quite a lot of rather arcane Anglican terms and titles. See in particular honorary secretary to the vestry of St James.
 * I've added a few links in key places. Does that work? I'm slightly at a loss as to what other steps to take to explain these, so if you've got any suggestions, they're most welcome! - SchroCat (talk) 14:12, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Do we need the (full, unwieldy) title of Sinclair's thesis in the body text?
 * Sinclair notes that a photograph of Oxford taken at Bethlem Hospital shows a marked similarity to one taken of "Freeman" in 1888, when he was representing the church at the Melbourne Centennial Exhibition: this reads as if we're trying to prove the association between Oxford and Freeman, but we've presented it as fact throughout the article. Suggest something like "Sinclair showed that Freeman and Oxford were the same person, partly based on her observation that...".
 * I'd clarify the role of the Supreme Court of Judicature; in particular, that it wasn't the UK's highest court (that was the HoL).
 * Slightly embarrassingly I linked the wrong body. It was the Law Lords that they asked. - SchroCat (talk) 14:16, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The events took place while Dickens was writing Barnaby Rudge (1841): we've just been in 1841 with the publication of The Old Curiosity Shop, so I'm a bit unclear on the chronology: have we just stepped backwards from 1841 to the preceding years/months when Dickens was writing?
 * What's a pot-boy?
 * Briefly introduce Burton and Swinburne.
 * A BBC radio series in March 2023, Killing Victoria: is this fiction or non-fiction?
 * Note e is missing the currency symbol. It and note J are also missing dates for the inflated figures. Note M is also missing a currency sign.
 * Note h is attributed in full to Sinclair, but the last quotation is from Stevens.
 * I understand why the two have ended up together, but the header "Hansard and thesis" is a bit odd: suggest simply using "other".
 * Von Tunzelmann's review includes Conspiracy theories circulated that Oxford had been set up by Victoria's uncle, the King of Hanover. These may or may not have been completely untrue. Bring that in somewhere?
 * ✅ (See above on the 'Germans, Chartist and Orange' point) - SchroCat (talk) 14:08, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The case notes on him in February 1954: 1854?
 * Do we have any idea of how Oxford managed to study so widely while in Bedlam?
 * Nope. There was nothing in the sources, I think, but I’ll look a little wider to see if something comes up. - SchroCat (talk) 19:03, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
 * inmates were paid a small sum for working, he had managed to save between £50 and £60: this seems to be a non sequitur given that we gloss £50 as a rather large sum of about £5,000 today.
 * I think the journalist was way out, but that’s the figure they report. I’ve tried to steer readers a little with the Sinclair figure. - SchroCat (talk) 19:03, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Did The Times talk about being paid "a small sum"? If not, we might split: something like A journalist in The Times reported that Oxford had managed to save between £50 and £60;(cite Times) inmates were paid a small sum for working,(cite?) Sinclair gives Oxford's savings as £6 17s when he left Broadmoor. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 12:15, 9 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Yes, it’s The Times that call it “A small pecuniary reward” and “out of his small earnings”. - SchroCat (talk) 07:25, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * If we're confident that we wouldn't share the Times' impression (is there some sarcasm going on here), I'd be tempted to frame it in a way that fits the reader's likely assessment rather than the newspaper's (that is, that £50 was no small amount of money). A thought, though: have you been able to cast eyes on the original? I wonder if the zero might have crept in from a reading or transcription error? UndercoverClassicist (talk) 08:13, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I only use the original copies (there are too many errors in the OCR transcriptions), and it’s definitely £50. I think it’s a bit of early shock journalism going on: it’s unlikely he would have saved such a sum, particularly as he didn’t have enough for his fare to Oz not that long afterwards. The journalist also refers to him as "a fat, elderly man", which isn’t the impression the image at the top of the page gives! - SchroCat (talk) 08:43, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * This one's weird but in ways beyond our power to resolve, I suspect. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 20:35, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * What is a steward in the Bedlam context?
 * Oxford was able to buy a new wardrobe: given that some of our readers aren't native English speakers, I'd rephrase to clarify that we mean clothes, not furniture.
 * I'd spell out that Liber is Latin for "Free man".
 * The penultimate paragraph on Oxford's Australian life has quite a lot of rather arcane Anglican terms and titles. See in particular honorary secretary to the vestry of St James.
 * I've added a few links in key places. Does that work? I'm slightly at a loss as to what other steps to take to explain these, so if you've got any suggestions, they're most welcome! - SchroCat (talk) 14:12, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Do we need the (full, unwieldy) title of Sinclair's thesis in the body text?
 * Sinclair notes that a photograph of Oxford taken at Bethlem Hospital shows a marked similarity to one taken of "Freeman" in 1888, when he was representing the church at the Melbourne Centennial Exhibition: this reads as if we're trying to prove the association between Oxford and Freeman, but we've presented it as fact throughout the article. Suggest something like "Sinclair showed that Freeman and Oxford were the same person, partly based on her observation that...".
 * I'd clarify the role of the Supreme Court of Judicature; in particular, that it wasn't the UK's highest court (that was the HoL).
 * Slightly embarrassingly I linked the wrong body. It was the Law Lords that they asked. - SchroCat (talk) 14:16, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The events took place while Dickens was writing Barnaby Rudge (1841): we've just been in 1841 with the publication of The Old Curiosity Shop, so I'm a bit unclear on the chronology: have we just stepped backwards from 1841 to the preceding years/months when Dickens was writing?
 * What's a pot-boy?
 * Briefly introduce Burton and Swinburne.
 * A BBC radio series in March 2023, Killing Victoria: is this fiction or non-fiction?
 * Note e is missing the currency symbol. It and note J are also missing dates for the inflated figures. Note M is also missing a currency sign.
 * Note h is attributed in full to Sinclair, but the last quotation is from Stevens.
 * I understand why the two have ended up together, but the header "Hansard and thesis" is a bit odd: suggest simply using "other".
 * Von Tunzelmann's review includes Conspiracy theories circulated that Oxford had been set up by Victoria's uncle, the King of Hanover. These may or may not have been completely untrue. Bring that in somewhere?
 * ✅ (See above on the 'Germans, Chartist and Orange' point) - SchroCat (talk) 14:08, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Briefly introduce Burton and Swinburne.
 * A BBC radio series in March 2023, Killing Victoria: is this fiction or non-fiction?
 * Note e is missing the currency symbol. It and note J are also missing dates for the inflated figures. Note M is also missing a currency sign.
 * Note h is attributed in full to Sinclair, but the last quotation is from Stevens.
 * I understand why the two have ended up together, but the header "Hansard and thesis" is a bit odd: suggest simply using "other".
 * Von Tunzelmann's review includes Conspiracy theories circulated that Oxford had been set up by Victoria's uncle, the King of Hanover. These may or may not have been completely untrue. Bring that in somewhere?
 * ✅ (See above on the 'Germans, Chartist and Orange' point) - SchroCat (talk) 14:08, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Note h is attributed in full to Sinclair, but the last quotation is from Stevens.
 * I understand why the two have ended up together, but the header "Hansard and thesis" is a bit odd: suggest simply using "other".
 * Von Tunzelmann's review includes Conspiracy theories circulated that Oxford had been set up by Victoria's uncle, the King of Hanover. These may or may not have been completely untrue. Bring that in somewhere?
 * ✅ (See above on the 'Germans, Chartist and Orange' point) - SchroCat (talk) 14:08, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Von Tunzelmann's review includes Conspiracy theories circulated that Oxford had been set up by Victoria's uncle, the King of Hanover. These may or may not have been completely untrue. Bring that in somewhere?
 * ✅ (See above on the 'Germans, Chartist and Orange' point) - SchroCat (talk) 14:08, 12 August 2023 (UTC)

Hi UndercoverClassicist, Many thanks for these very extensive comments and the subsequent additions and clarifications. I've had a runthrough and covered everything here. Hopefully you're broadly in agreement with the changes, but if there are still any points you think should be addressed pre-FAC, I'd be delighted to hear them. Thanks so much for such a sterling review. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 14:24, 12 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Glad it's useful. I do keep an eye on the FAC nominations, but feel free to ping me when it gets there. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 22:00, 12 August 2023 (UTC)

Comments from TR
Not much from me. A few minor points you may like to consider:
 * Lead
 * In the opening paragraph "assassinate ...assassinate" and "behaviour ... behaviour" in close proximity – could do with a spot of elegant variation, and is "sacked" a touch slangy? Perhaps "dismissed", here and in the main text?
 * "settled in Melbourne" – blue link, do you think, here and in the main text?
 * "became a respected figure at St James Old Cathedral, his local church" – I wonder if this lead sentence would flow better if you omitted the name of the church here; it is, of course, mentioned in the main text.
 * The last para comes rather out of the blue and as it stands it initially throws the reader (this one anyway) a bit. I think it could do with a sentence at the start putting it in context, on the lines of "The Oxford and the later M'Naghten case led to an overhaul of the law on criminal insanity" or some such.


 * Early life: 1822–1840
 * "the Shepherd and Flock on Marylebone High Street" – ahem!
 * I only get it wrong to annoy you! - SchroCat (talk) 10:55, 14 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Incarceration: 1840–1867
 * "Conditions in the hospital were harsh and Oxford was attacked with a chamber pot by one prisoner" – this seems something of a non sequitur. One can just as easily be attacked with a chamber pot in the most luxurious surroundings. Happens to me all the time.
 * "Grey ignored the request "– did he actually ignore it, or just turn it down?
 * "conditional on him emigrating" – gerundive use of the participle should be treated like a noun: "his emigrating".
 * Or, perhaps a little more contemporary, on his emigration.... UndercoverClassicist T·C 08:41, 14 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Australia: 1867–1900
 * "his first five years in the country" – is it strictly correct to call Australia in 1867 a country? (Question asked from a position of complete ignorance.)


 * Later assassination attempts and the law
 * "We have seen the trials of Oxford and MacNaghten..." – might it be worth a footnote to explain that M' Naghten was and still is rendered in several different spellings?


 * Portrayals and popular culture
 * "Oxford's attempted assassination" – if this were my prose, which of course it isn't, I think I'd make this "Oxford's assassination attempt".

That's my lot. Clearly of FA quality in my view. Pray ping me when you go to FAC.  Tim riley  talk   08:21, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Many thanks, Tim. All duly attended to and I'll ping when we get to FAC. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 10:55, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
 * ps. Thanks also for your comments on the Jessie Murray FAC: it's much also appreciated! - SchroCat (talk) 13:15, 14 August 2023 (UTC)

Comments from JennyOz
Placeholder - nearly finished. JennyOz (talk) 08:42, 15 August 2023 (UTC)

Hi SchroCat, Lots of questions as usual...

lede Biography Assassination attempt: April to June 1840 Incarceration: 1840–1867 Australia: 1867–1900 Historiography Legacy Portrayals and popular culture Notes Image Books Poss cats Misc
 * shortly after being sacked from another pub - yet another?
 * settled in Melbourne under the new - in Melbourne, Australia,
 * The Oxford and the later M'Naghten case led to an overhaul of the law on criminal insanity - add in England
 * born in Birmingham, England, on 9 April 1822. - is 18 April in lede and ibox
 * Interesting: the 18th was a date left over from the original version. I used the 9th in the new text from Charles, but Sinclair and Murphy have neither of those, but go for the 19th! I've added the 19th throughout now. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * According to Jennie Sinclair - Jenny
 * Edward, at various times, threatened, starved, beat and threw a pot at Hannah, which left her with a scar. - That should be George?
 * his aunt's pub in Hounslow, - an aunt (in case he had more than one)
 * assaulted a customer with a large chisel - not a customer? Sinclair says "an opponent", Charles says Yates was foreman of stable yard, Murphy says neighbour
 * probably not loaded with shot - link Shot (pellet)
 * council members generals - add comma after members
 * exclaiming "my God! Don't be alarmed". I assured - single quotes (ie it's a quote within a quote)?
 * Not needed in this case as the block quote doesn't use quote marks to note its start and finish - the example at MOS:BQ as "Nevermore" in double quotes. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Police were soon on the scene and Oxford was taken into custody at the nearest police station, in Gardner's Lane. - and Oxford was arrested and taken into custody?
 * and "demonstrated their belief that no would-be assassin could come between them" - thought this was Victoria's quote, as Murphy says?
 * No - that's Murphy's paraphrase. He has the actual quote at the bottom of the page, running onto the following one. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Augustus Murray, the Comptroller of the Household - is this Charles Murray (author and diplomat) "He obtained a position, from 1838 to 1844, as Master of the Household and Extra Groom in Waiting in the Court of the young Queen Victoria." though Master of is a different position to Comptroller of?
 * Yes, that's him. Charles put the wrong title in Comptroller of the Household has a completely different person as Comptroller. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Fox Maule - why just name (as opposed to Fox Maule-Ramsay, 11th Earl of Dalhousie) when you have Henry Cadogan, 4th Earl Cadogan (as opposed to Henry Cadogan)?
 * He was plain old "Fox Maule" in 1840 - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Among those who was summoned - those who were?
 * a magistrate from the Queen Square police court - link police court to Magistrates' court (England and Wales)?
 * A charge of high treason was added before the trial started - Was "high treason" added not a change to/upgrade of the original charge? Or did he have to answer to two separate charges? Why only treason (not high treason) in lede and ibox?
 * The source has "added" and there's little in the way of clarification I can find. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Whitehallwhere he was interrogated - add space
 * That afternoon he was questioned - new paragraph so swap "he" to Oxford?
 * Technically part of the same paragraph as before the block quote, but swapped anyway for clarity. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * sent to Newgate Prison prior to trial - to await trial?
 * This included the pathologist - These included (several doctors)
 * who was also the Oxfords' family doctor - why "also", was it a coincidence or was he summoned because he was the family doctor and might know things? (I can't see either ref)
 * As the family's doctor - now clarified. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Oxford was represented by Sidney Taylor and William Henry Bodkin - is William Bodkin (judge)? "Bodkin initially practised on the Home Circuit, taking mostly criminal cases at the Middlesex, Westminster and Kent Sessions, and in the Central Criminal Court in the Old Bailey"
 * the jury retired for 45 minutes to make their decision - were they given 45 minutes or just came back after that time?
 * That's how long they took. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * incarcerate him as long as it wished. - for as long?
 * bemoaned the lack of opportunity to practice his pronunciation - typo practise
 * to practice his pronunciation; when asked about his mental state - make new sentence as not related to French pronunciation?
 * Soon after his arrival at Broadmoor, Oxford—supported by the Chairman of Broadmoor, the deputy superintendent, the hospital's resident doctor and the prison surgeon—appealed to Sir George Grey, the Home Secretary, for Oxford's release. - That says Oxford appealed for Oxford's release. - intentional or swap to 'for his release'?
 * Intentional. There are so many names and titles in between that I confused myself in the first drafting. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Butting in, but suggest a reorder: "Oxford appealed for release to Sir George Gray, the Home Secretary, with the support of..." UndercoverClassicist T·C 23:25, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * That works nicely - thank you! - SchroCat (talk) 11:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * and Oxford was able to buy new clothing and still have £22 left for his arrival in Australia - and the £25 fare? (Haydon gave him £43, he bought clothes and still had £22 to take with him)
 * was booked in the name John Freeman: Oxford's name for his new life - Oxford's chosen name? wasn't given to him?
 * Oxford was escorted to Plymouth - add 'port of' or link
 * and boarded the Suffolk - link this SV Suffolk? (its image at commons "The Suffolk made the run to Melbourne") there wouldn't be two on same route at same time with same name?
 * and he did not appear in any official records - does not?
 * Sinclair identifies a "James Freeman" working as a painter in Melbourne between 1870 and 1879 - I can't see that in Sinclair? James should be John?
 * It's in Sinclair, page 106: "From 1870 to 1879 there was a ‘James Freeman’ working as a painter in Queen Street in the city."
 * Rats! I'd been checking Sinclair bits against her thesis not A Walking Shadow (which I can't access). I'd opened it when I first started, then after waiting for UC's and your work, forgot my tab was the thesis. That bit about James the painter is the only anomaly I came across!
 * an English woman who had emigrated to Australia, married and been widowed twice - emigrated to Australia, and had been married and widowed twice
 * Oxford signed the marriage registered as John Freeman - register?
 * parts of nineteenth century Melbourne - add hyphen
 * Haydon, who had travelled in through Melbourne - remove in?
 * After serving as churchwarden and in 1883 and 1885, he was - is that first "and" needed?
 * the lay representative for St James' Cathedral - remove apostrophe
 * he was pallbearer - a pallbearer
 * gave them to the National Library of Australia - link
 * On 23 April 1900, four days after his 78th birthday, - 5 days if 18th correct?
 * See above for the 9, 18, 19 shenanigans. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Prime Minister's private secretary - move s out of PM link to avoid sob?
 * and complained to Ponsonby that - intro her private secretary Henry Ponsonby
 * Her Majesty thinks it worth consideration - Are these Victoria's words or Ponsonby's?
 * M'Naghten rules on instructions to be given to a jury for a defence of insanity.[137] This included the direction - these included (rules plural)
 * book included Young England as an assassins' conspiracy - move apostrophe
 * plural assassins here
 * note k They were ranked below attendants, but above nurses, attendants - ?
 * note p M'Naghten's name was rendered in multiple spellings - multiple other spellings?
 * "The Regicidal Pot Boy": a satirical drawing by John Leech - just Regicide
 * An image by Hablot ... a Waxwork exhibit - drop cap?
 * Walker, Nigel - link Nigel Walker (criminologist)
 * sfn|Bedlam". - why quotes at end only
 * Category:Queen Victoria
 * Category:British emigrants to the Colony of Victoria or
 * Category:Colony of Victoria people or
 * Category:Writers from the Colony of Victoria
 * Category:Deaths in the Colony of Victoria
 * Category:1840 crimes in the United Kingdom
 * Category:People detained in hospitals in the United Kingdom (for Bethlem)
 * I am utterly confused by Sinclair's Section Three. She wrote a book "narrated" by Oxford/Freeman and called it the same name as his book published in Fleet Street? Is that right?
 * Is that the part in her thesis? We only use this in a couple of places, and not from section 3, just the factual parts of the early thesis. Most of our uses of Sinclair are from her entirely non-fictional book. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I think it would be helpful to add his age in a couple of/few places, maybe at time of shooting or incarceration, time of release or arrival Melb
 * OK, will do. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Know anything about his family at court hearing and whilst he was in Broadmoor? Did they visit him? When did his mother die?
 * She was the first witness in his defence, but I've sipped over it as much of the information she gave is in the earlier sections. There is no info in the sources about whether she visited when he was in Bedlam or Broadmoor. It's not known when she died. Sinclair records that she was still alive in 1851 (presumably from that year's census), but nothing more
 * Perhaps his book warrants own section? (and its own redirect?) There's plenty more info to do so. I came across some more. Let me know
 * I'm not sure about this - let me have a think. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Do we know if he had any church background before arrival in Melbourne? If not in early years, maybe from Bedlam or Broadmoor. I can't imagine being appointed to roles in a church without some familiarity
 * There's a complete absence of any information in any of the sources of any religious interest at any stage before his initially low-level appointments in Melbourne. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I noticed on List of burials at Melbourne General Cemetery you have him as James?
 * John Freeman - give him an entry?

That'll do for now. Thanks for the good read! JennyOz (talk) 16:15, 15 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Many thanks JennyOz! Hugely helpful. I've taken nearly all your suggestions, with one or two exceptions, commenting above to explain. - SchroCat (talk) 09:39, 16 August 2023 (UTC)

Two more tiny questions...
 * SV Suffolk - you decided not to link?
 * I spent so long checking it was the same one (and then tweaking the title of the landing article, that I forgot to link it in the end! - SchroCat (talk) 16:02, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * in Note p, a couple of the spellings of M'Naghten's name seem repeated. Is that intentional? eg Macnaghton x2 and Macnaughton x2 - one each of those is meant to end with "en"?
 * I've just made two minor tweaks. No more from me here now but pls ping me at FAC nom. JennyOz (talk) 15:06, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Both those done. Thanks again. The only outstanding point is to add an age in a couple of places, which I'll do shortly. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 16:02, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

Closing this now: many thanks to all who assisted with some excellent comments. - SchroCat (talk) 15:12, 31 August 2023 (UTC)