Wikipedia:Peer review/Elbert Frank Cox/archive1

Elbert Frank Cox

 * It needs an image to be able to be featured, but what else does it need? More maths, perhaps? I spent all day working on it, it's well sourced, and contains quite a lot of interesting information. What do you think? It somehow does not read like a well-written article (I'm not a native speaker). Perhaps it just needs a minor rewrite by a native speaker who can write very well? Gerrit CUTEDH 21:03, 2 October 2005 (UTC)

Interesting article. It looks like you put in a lot of work and made some impressive improvements. It's very comprehensive on the subject of his education and teaching, a bit less so on the other areas of his life. The writing isn't so bad. It's not gripping, but it's sensible and for the most part clear and grammatically correct. The links feel a bit dense, and the organization isn't the tightest I've seen (it has an "and then... and then... and then..." feel to it, IMHO). A few comments:


 * How about referencing specific facts in the article from specific sources (in particular, the items that are relatively subjective, such as how good a teacher he was or what influence his father had on him)?
 * There are also a few thoughts in there that look like they could be more fully developed -- e.g. "Cox went to a segregated school with inadequate resources. His father was an important inspiration for him."
 * By 1930, it would rank 2nd in the U.S. (after Harvard) for the number of mathematicians getting a bachelor's degree." "It" is Indiana University?
 * I'd be interested in learning more about what impact racism may have had on his career and studies in a time when discrimination was widespread and the KKK was active near the area where he worked.
 * The sentence "He did not publish a paper until 1934." seems a bit out of place in a discussion of events from the mid-1920s
 * Perhaps the article could be organized, or at least the sections titled a bit differently. Instead of organizing it by where he was, it could maybe be organized by life events -- Undergraduate studies, graduate studies, teaching, family, etc....  Since it wouldn't be 100% chronological, the article could begin (after the intro section) with an abbreviated chronology.
 * "Cox started to teach at Howard University in September 1930. It was very different; despite his high credentials, he was outranked by other professors such as William Bauduit and Charles Syphax." What was different from what?
 * "Williams, his supervisor, tried to pursue recognition for Cox from a university from another country" Who is Williams (and does he have a first name)?  I don't recall his being mentioned elsewhere, or certainly not within the past few paragraphs.
 * "Cox had directed more Master's Degree students than any other professor at Howard's University" Is it "Howard University" or "Howard's University"?
 * There's a section marked as a stub. Presumably it should be expanded?

-- Avocado 23:06, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your comments, I will have a look at it tonight or tomorrow (sorry that I saw it only now). Gerrit CUTEDH 17:07, 21 October 2005 (UTC)