Wikipedia:Peer review/Elderly Instruments/archive1

Elderly Instruments
This peer review discussion has been closed. I have exhaustively researched the subject of this article and am trying to get it ready for FA status. I would appreciate comments on prose, comprehensiveness, and any other issues you spot.

Thanks, Laser brain (talk) 04:01, 3 March 2008 (UTC)

I've never done a peer review, so sorry if this isn't the right format.
 * Feedback


 * shorten lead section
 * Shortened. --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 * avoid marketing terms like "seminal"
 * Removed. --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 * passing mention in New York Times article shouldn't be treated as if the article was about the company
 * I removed the section in the lead about it and just mentioned that Elderly is mentioned in the Times, later. --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 * would help article if notable musicians who have purchased instruments from this store could be found and emphasized
 * I have not found anything other than anecdotal information about famous musicians at Elderly. Nothing verifiable, mostly guys saying, "Oh yeah, I remember this one time I saw Elvis Costello there."  Will keep looking though. --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 * publications cited seem to be local -- any state, national or international recognition?
 * Actually, only a few are local. I cite Detroit newspapers, which are state-wide, and several nationally and internationally circulated trade and music journals. --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 * nice clear writing style
 * Thanks! --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Factoids I found

--Edibility (talk) 14:36, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Elderly was a sponsor of Michigan's 2001 National Folk Festival.
 * There's a video here.
 * Elderly is a dealer of Deering banjos
 * Elderly sells or sold bodhráns
 * I've addressed most of these issues except as noted above - thanks very much! --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)