Wikipedia:Peer review/Electronic cigarette/archive1

Electronic cigarette
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because it is a well developed article that I believe is worthy of a C or better class.

Thanks,  F ELYZA T ALK C ONTRIBS   05:32, 4 November 2009 (UTC)

Added a history of the device, based on what I could source. F ELYZA T ALK C ONTRIBS   11:41, 5 November 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is nicely written, interesting, and nicely illustrated. However, fairly large sections of it lack sources, and the lead needs to be re-worked to more accurately summarize the whole article. Here are a few suggestions:

Lead
 * MOS:INTRO says in part, "The lead section should briefly summarize the most important points covered in an article in such a way that it can stand on its own as a concise version of the article." The existing lead says little about "Health issues" and "Legal status". Also, it says that these devices have "...undergone several laboratory tests, with mostly positive results." The latter seems both incomplete and misleading since the last two sections of the article suggest that many agencies in many countries have substantial doubts about the safety of these devices.


 * The lead should not include important information that is not developed in the main text. For example, the claim that "it has been gaining popularity world-wide" doesn't seem to be developed in the main text. What supports this claim? Are any statistics available? This kind of information, if available, could be added to the History section. It also might be possible to add information about device styles (pens, cigars, and so on) to the "Components" section rather than just putting it in the lead.

Components
 * The Manual of Style (MOS) generally deprecates extremely short sections, subsections, and paragraphs. The two general solutions are either to expand or merge. I think you could safely eliminate the subheads in this section and just go with the head, "Components". Doing that would solve a second problem related to layout. The MOS advises against placing images in such a way that they overlap section boundaries or displace heads or subheads. If you merge all of the subsections of "Components", you'll have room to move Image:Components of a MiniCiggy e-cigarette.jpg down into the Components section and still have room for Image:Ecig usb charger.jpg further down in the same section.


 * Most of this section as well as other parts of the article lack sources even though the information in them is not common knowledge and must have come from somewhere. A good rule of thumb is to provide a source for every paragraph in an article as well as sources for statistics, direct quotations, and any claim that is extraordinary, has been challenged, or is likely to be challenged.


 * The dabfinder tool in the upper right-hand corner of this review page finds some wikilinks in the article that go to disambiguation pages instead of their intended target.


 * The images lack alt text, which is meant to describe the content of the images to readers who can't see them. Please see WP:ALT for details.

I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 17:48, 10 November 2009 (UTC)