Wikipedia:Peer review/Elena Delle Donne/archive1

Elena Delle Donne
This peer review discussion has been closed. This article is currently a C-Class. I would like to have others look at it to see how to improve it to a B-Class and eventually a  GA-Class. Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Pink Fae (talk) 20:39, 29 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments by Bagumba
B-class is not far away. Here are some suggestions: —Bagumba (talk) 21:54, 2 June 2015 (UTC)
 * 1) Expand lead per MOS:LEAD
 * 2) An "Early life" section before (or combined with) the "High school" section would be good to provide overview of her childhood. It is especially relevant here as it would provide context to her relationship with her sister.
 * 3) Quote by her brother might be better paraphrased in lieu of quoting directly with the WP:INTEXT attribution, as WP:ATTRIBUTEPOV (I'm guessing) is unlikely to apply here.
 * 4) Mentioning exact dates IMO usually make the flow of text choppy. Are all of them needed?
 * 5) Some parts read more like a list of sequential events; need to improve flow into contiguous paragraphs.
 * 6) MOS:ACRO: e.g. CAA, etc.
 * 7) Slight case of WP:UNDERLINK
 * 8) On higher resolution displays, her portrait in the "College" section is sandwiching the text with the infobox, which is discouraged by MOS:IMAGELOCATION.