Wikipedia:Peer review/Etty Hillesum/archive1

Etty Hillesum
My first full article, I'm not sure about the format. If anyone could give me some pointers how to improve the format, I'd be a happy Wiki. I'm pretty confident about the writing as such though. SauronMaiar 21 Dec 2004 17.10 (UTC)


 * I will make some verb tense modifications directly to the article. As written, she seems still alive. Revmachine21 12:55, 11 Jan 2005 (UTC)


 * The article would be improved by the following, pictures of Etty, picture of her momument and or picture of the school named after her. She seems like an interesting person.  I also added a couple of additional links.  If you know of more external links, it would be nice to include them. Revmachine21 13:31, 11 Jan 2005 (UTC)


 * She does seem interesting... good attempt at an article! I sorted out the tense issues but I have some suggestions:
 * We need an "References" section, see cite your sources
 * The lead section needs to be expanded to a full paragraph.
 * And pictures of the original diary, or of Etty herself that you can get under public domain/GFDL would be really helpful!
 * Good work! - Ta bu shi da yu 05:46, 21 Jan 2005 (UTC)

Minor: Why "Dutch Jewish" father and then "Jewish Russian" mother? Perhaps there is a particular reason for this word order? I did not dare to edit.