Wikipedia:Peer review/Everton F.C./archive2

Everton F.C.
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because it was formerly a featured article and lost its status therefore it needs improving
 * Previous peer review

Thanks, SenorKristobbal (talk) 01:05, 4 November 2011 (UTC)

Comments from Casliber
I'm copyediting as I go. I'll place tags where they are needed as a pointer. I'll jot questions below: Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:48, 5 November 2011 (UTC)


 * As an aside, it might be worth going over History of Everton F.C. and buffing it to GA status. This going-over might help develop the Everton F.C. article too.


 * In the Everton F.C. article, there's very little about the club's most notable players other than mentions with transfer fees (and a little about Dixie Dean)


 * e.g. are Tommy Lawton and Joe Mercer worth a mention in the parent article, and then embellished more in the daughter/history article. i.e. what did Lawton, Mercer and Jones do that was so successful....

Comment
Is club singular or plural? It can't be both--86.163.16.221 (talk) 14:25, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

Comments from
Seriously, these comments are just on the lead. I'm happy to help further, but this needs more work. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:53, 8 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Yes, club/team singular plural thing. Clearly much more of an issue for our US readers than us, we have something like a discretionary plural which allows this kind of bad-ass grammatical behaviour.  But for me, a general rule would be refer to the "club" as a singular and the "team" etc as a plural.  Not going to please all the people all the time, particular the US readers, but better than nothing.
 * Link association football.
 * No need for "the city of".
 * Should be able to find a link for English football.
 * "immediate post World War Two period" probably a bunch of hyphens missing here!
 * Is League Championship capitalised or not?
 * "The club's most recent major trophy was the 1995 FA Cup. The club's .." The club's... boring repeat.
 * "averaging over 36,000 people per game" no need for "people"
 * "and a few players. " - vague, not encyclopaedic.
 * What's an "expandable stadium"?
 * "50,000 seater " hyphen.
 * Link Kirby in the lead.
 * "The club's home colours have traditionally been royal blue and white, since the 1901–02 season." either traditionally or since a season. Not both.
 * "Their most famous player is Dixie Dean," that's pure original research or opinion. I would rephrase it to be neutral.