Wikipedia:Peer review/Everywhere at the End of Time/archive1

Everywhere at the End of Time


I've listed this article for peer review because I want to bring it up to FA candidacy, but am not sure if it meets the criteria. This is a useful page for doubts on whether a source of the article is high-quality or not.

Thanks, Wetrorave (talk) 13:48, 15 July 2021 (UTC)

Comments from Gerald Waldo Luis
Thanks for the review on Living in the Age of Airplanes! Right now at 2:11:18 of the whole thing while reviewing this.  Gerald WL  09:16, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Be careful. Something is expecting you on Stage 5.
 * Stage 5 is definitely terrifying. Somehow Midsommar struck in my head while listening to this. Right now at 5:50:00, still going strong.
 * The worst part are the clarity moments that give you false hope. At 3:40:08 it's very possible to hear music but then it goes back to noise again, and by 3:40:48 I can hear a voice saying "Who are you? WHO ARE YOU?!". Wetrorave (talk) 14:02, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, please do not use level 2 or 3 headers (==...== and ===...===) below to break up the review. Use level 4 (====...====) and so on, and level 5 (=====...=====) for subsections of your own comments. Wetrorave (talk) 13:01, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * How did I not spot that? Thanks for observing.  Gerald WL  13:45, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

 * "is the eleventh and final recording"-- since the later sentence talks about it being his final work under the alias, I suggest removing "final" here.
 * Done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "Everywhere's decay"-- what's "decay" referring to here? If it's about the degrading style of the work, suggest changing it to "style".
 * It's referring to the decay that the music goes through as the series progresses; changed. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "for music videos." Link music videos.
 * Done here, as well as on Release and promotion. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "Critics felt"-- change "critics" to "They".
 * Done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

Background

 * "scene of filmmaker Stanley Kubrick's movie"-- change "movie" to "film" per consistency with film articles.
 * Changed to "scene of filmmaker Stanley Kubrick's work" in order to avoid repetition of the word "film": "scene of filmmaker Stanley Kubrick's film". Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "In 2011, the Caretaker released An Empty Bliss Beyond This World. The record was"-- suggest changing to "In 2011, the Caretaker released An Empty Bliss Beyond This World, which was".
 * Changed to "released An Empty Bliss Beyond This World, a record inspired", since it gives the same number of words as what you suggested and provides more accuracy at the same time with the word 'record'. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

Music and stages

 * "The albums, which Kirby delivers" --> "The albums, described by Kirby".
 * Done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "The albums explore ambient" --> "The albums is primarily of ambient genre".
 * Changed to "The albums are primarily ambient". Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "On the last six minutes, a song from the Caretaker's debut album"-- mind specifying the name of said album?
 * It's already in the Background section but I agree with you; changed to "On the last six minutes, a song from Selected Memories can be heard." Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "The first three stages are reminiscent" the subsection link is not needed, given it's literally a paragraph below.
 * Very good point, done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * At the artworks, it would be better to have it begin with "A collage of".
 * You mean the captions or the "alt" parameters? Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Yep; sorry forgot to specify.

 (Stages 1–3) 
 * "Stage 1, according to Kirby, is the album where "we experience the first signs of memory loss."" Better rephrase to "According to Kirby, Stage 1 is the album depicting initial signs of memory loss."
 * Done, but replaced "loss" with "deterioration" since Alzheimer's disease physically degrades the brain, an idea that is better communicated with 'deterioration'. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "drama works"-- better link to Woody Allen filmography.
 * Changed this sentence altogether to "and to filmmaker Woody Allen's drama works."; is it ok to leave it like this? Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Sounds just fine.
 * "the first stage as "really like an old person daydreaming", and"-- not needed; feels like a repetition of "He calls it the one that is "most like a beautiful daydream.""
 * Agreed; changed to "In contrast with the first stage's joyful sound,". Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "compared it to the bathroom scene of The Shining"-- it would be more helpful to have a note describing the bathroom scene, cause as I remember, there are several bathroom scenes in The Shining.
 * I don't really remember a lot of that movie, so I agree with you; added "where 'Grady [is] in the bathroom wiping Jack's coat. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

 (Stages 4–6) 
 * "surreal style"-- maybe link Surrealist music?
 * Linked both in this sentence and on the genres of the infobox. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "according to Kirby, is" --> "according to Kirby, has themes of".
 * Done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "as a traffic jam in"-- looks like WP:OVERLINK to me.
 * Agreed, done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "such as the terms"-- I don't think "the terms" is needed.
 * Agreed, it's just unnecessary redundancy. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "C'est fini." Recommend adding a note stating the translation from French.
 * I'm not really sure about this one, since I don't know French and Google Translate gives me "It's finish", which doesn't seem like a very good translation. Maybe contact someone who knows French and English? I've added "French: 'It's over. as a footnote for now. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * My French online friend says "It's all over" is the translation. Having the word "all" is better for me, evokes a distinct emotion rather than "It's over."  Gerald WL  12:30, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Alright, changed. Wetrorave (talk) 13:01, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

Production

 * ", as described by him,"-- readers already learn that the following quote is from Kirby, so this bit is not needed.
 * Done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "Kirby said a 'strategy' was"-- why using apostrophes rather than quote marks?
 * I could've sworn that this was on WP:MOS? Well, I don't know, but done anyways. Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "focus would be the"-- change "would be" to "were".
 * Changed to "was on" since "was" relates to "production focus", which is not stated plurally. Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "the musician claimed"-- "he" would be better instead of "the musician".
 * It would be a bit repetitive: "he claimed he possessed". Changed to "Kirby claimed he possessed". Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "Kirby commented his version was not recorded professionally." The quote in the citation is much more complex than that. Maybe add "and used piano as the lead instrument."
 * That is correct; done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

Artwork and packaging

 * "Because it's all glitched. It's all nonsense in a way." Paraphrase: "Because it's all glitched [and] nonsense in a way." Also in the quote box, an emdash before the author would be great.
 * Done, and addem emdash to the Heffernan quote as well. Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Link oil painting.
 * Done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The last paragraphs in the stages subsections, that discuss the artwork, should probably be moved here.
 * Those paragraphs discuss the individual album covers and how they relate to the concept, whereas Artwork and packaging discusses who made them. Plus, without those last paragraphs, the infoboxes would be too big and overlap sections, so I think it's best for them to stay where they are. Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Link Berlin.
 * "the musician noticed"-- again, "the musician" better be changed as "he".
 * Done, and changed 'noticed' to 'saw' since "noticed" implies that Kirby pays attention to small details, which is not neutral. Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "Ivan Seal (pictured)"-- don't think "(pictured)" is needed, as the entire photo is just Seal.
 * Done, as well as for the Al Bowlly and Kirby pics. Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

Release and promotion

 * "When asked what studies interest"-- what kind of studies? Scientific studies? Literary studies? Scholarly studies?
 * The source says "intriguing papers", "academic journals", and "books", so I think it's all of them lol. Would studies still fit well? or is more accuracy needed? Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I assume the studies are about Alzheimer's right? Then probably have it "studies about Alzheimer's".
 * Yes, actually. Added "studies about dementia". Wetrorave (talk) 13:52, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "The musician stated"-- the musician, "He". There seems to be more "The musician"-s though, you can just Ctrl+F it.
 * What is the problem with "the musician" though? What other musician could the term be referring to? Wetrorave (talk) 12:38, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Unless it hasn't been stated like "Filmmaker Stanley Kubrick", it has been stated that Kirby is a musician. That's why I find the many "the musician" repetitive. The common practice I see is interchanging between the name and the pronouns, so in this case, between "Kirby" and "He".  Gerald WL  13:41, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Alright, I tried to remove any instances of "the musician" now. I think I was initially trying to make the prose more varied but, as you said, this actually made it less varied. Wetrorave (talk) 13:50, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * "Pitchfork contributor Brian Howe expressed concern with the first stage because "[i]f not exploitative, it's at least an unduly romantic view of an illness."" Better rephrase to "Pitchfork contributor Brian Howe expressed concern that the first stage may be an romanticised, if not exploitative view of mental illness."
 * Done, with slight changes. Wetrorave (talk) 14:17, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * ""decay or beauty[,] [...]"-- don't think the "[...]" is needed, considering there's already a square bracket beside.
 * Yeah, it was kind of clunky to have two square brackets inside a single quotation. Done slightly differently: "Falisi regarded Stage 2 as neither 'decay or beauty", diagnosis or cure.. Wetrorave (talk) 14:17, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "romanticisation. He explained it "becomes" --> "romanticisation, that it "becomes".
 * Changed. Wetrorave (talk) 14:17, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "the record 'agonizing', opining"-- another confusing use of apostrophe here.
 * Changed. Wetrorave (talk) 14:17, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "Reynolds identified it" --> "He identified it".
 * Done. Wetrorave (talk) 14:17, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Something I forgot (ironically) to say is that I'm planning to re-write this section later based on WP:RECEPTION. Wetrorave (talk) 14:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Yeah, there's some WP:RECEPTION issues present. I was just gonna say that lmao.  Gerald WL  14:29, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

 (Accolades) 
 * All good here.

Impact and popularity

 * Except for its last two sentences, the first para seems to fit more at "Critical reception" instead of here.
 * The first para directly talks about the emotional impact of the album on music critics, as well as claims that it is Kirby's best work or comments on its influence on a certain genre. I think this kind of info definitely belongs in an Impact section.
 * I have an idea. What if "Critical reception" is changed to just "Reception", and this section becomes a sub?
 * That doesn't seem like it's gonna work, given that there are two images together and separating the first para of Impact and popularity from the rest would make the Memories Overlooked image be out of place in the article. I think overall, the first para of Impact and popularity (which surrounds the emotional aspect of the record) fits well with the rest (which surrounds how this album "breaks you"). Wetrorave (talk) 14:34, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I don't think I was clear. File:Everywhere Wikipedia subsection.png-- here's a screenshot of a dummy edit I did showing what I proposed. Basically merging the section to the reception hierarchy.  Gerald WL  15:53, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Oh ok, I thought you meant to merge only the first paragraph into Reception, but it's the whole section. And I'm not entirely sure about this. The model of the article body at WP:ALBUMSTYLE recommends that there be a section for "further public reception outside of just critical assessments or sales figures." This is also applicable for "the legacy that a certain recording has had on a genre". I think "Impact and popularity", as a separate section, does this job well, and deserves its own part; let me know your discretion. Wetrorave (talk) 16:05, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I just think that because there's some reviews in the legacy section, it should not be separate from the reception section. The essay doesn't really stress the need for it to be a standalone section. "reception" basically means how the work is being received, which is also what that section covers.  Gerald WL  16:34, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * ""Unexpected Hit and Niche Discovery""-- maybe link Niche market?
 * Changed sentence altogether to "Everywhere was later called a niche discovery and "unexpected hit" by TikTok in a report for Variety." Wetrorave (talk) 14:17, 17 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Also, did you finish Stage 6 by now? Wetrorave (talk) 14:17, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I just finished Stage 6 some 10 seconds ago. Wow. Beautiful album. A family member of mine is suffering from dementia too, so this is hitting hard. I might consider buying the CD.  Gerald WL  14:28, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Not trying to get too personal here :), but did you cry? I didn't have any close experiences with dementia and I cried, so I wonder how's it like for someone who had this kind of experience. Wetrorave (talk) 14:36, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Its fine, not personal at all. I cried at track 1 and the last. There's an existential to it, and I start to wonder what would happen when I die, while reflecting on how my household is right now with the fam member. Is it going to be harmony or emptiness? What did he ever do to deserve this hellhole? I can see why the critics think 1-3 is bad, but I don't think it's romanticizing at all: on the verge of death this is literally how it is. Stuff like these are good for reflection and a reminder that life is short.  Gerald WL  15:07, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Agreed. Overall, it's an album that just makes anyone much more aware of their own mortality, y'know? Life can be like the decaying blue tape on that blank canvas, just barely trying to hold on, but ultimately failing. It's too fragile to keep going. Wetrorave (talk) 15:18, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "Spend your life as you wish to" is more relevant than ever. This album sends that message wonderfully for me.  Gerald WL  15:53, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

The others

 * "Track listing", "See also" "Notes" and "Ref" and "exlink" sections seem perfect.
 * Wow, thanks! :) Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * In "Personnel", recommend changing "Adapted from YouTube." to "Credits adapted from YouTube."
 * Done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * In "Release history", recommending adding "record label" between "by" and "History".
 * Very good point, since this also serves to cite the "Label" parameter of the infoboxes; done. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I've added portals in "See also", what do you think?
 * Looks good to me. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Hey Gerald, I'm not close to my desktop at this moment so I'll respond to your comments when I'm back there Benjamin . Wetrorave (talk) 11:09, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Noted! Feel free to respond whenever you can.  Gerald WL  11:40, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Alright G, now I'm back there. I've responded to your comments. Wetrorave (talk) 12:20, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

DMT Biscuit
[More comments TBA]

Lead

 * "Everywhere at the End of Time is the best-selling dark ambient release on Bandcamp." – this isn't lead-worthy; Dark ambient and Bandcamp are both niche enough to whereas this detail is inconsequential to most. If there is a citation that calls it the best-selling Dark ambient album in general, that'd be different. DMT Biscuit (talk) 21:30, 12 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Very good point; ✅. Wetrorave (talk) 02:01, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
 * "The record is regarded by critics and listeners as emotional, with some calling it a dark album." – this is repetitive.
 * Because it was already mentioned at "They felt emotional about the complete edition," right? This was done, as well as re-worded "ambitious concept" to "Alzheimer's-driven concept" for more neutrality. However, I did not remove the "dark album" part, so this suggestion was in practice ; it now appears later as "Some users called it a dark album, correlating to further creepypasta stories at the time of its TikTok popularity." Is it okay this way? Wetrorave (talk) 02:01, 13 August 2021 (UTC)

Background

 * "the Caretaker was a pseudonym of English electronic musician Leyland Kirby that sampled big band records." → "English electronic musician Leyland Kirby sampled big band records under the pseudonym The Caretaker." - it's confusing to the average reader to contextualize the project as district from Kirby himself - a person unto itself; it's, of course, a part of the theatrics but we're nominally cynical audience members.
 * ✅. Maybe it's because I watched the Solar Sands video about EATEOT that this is phrased like this; he introduces the Caretaker in a very similar way. Wetrorave (talk) 02:01, 13 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "it" → "Kirby" - same reason as above
 * ✅. Wetrorave (talk) 02:01, 13 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "the Caretaker released" - take a guess as to my gripe (it's the same reason I didn't refer to Phil Elverum, in A Crow Looked at Me, as Mount Eerie.)
 * ✅ not only here but in other places at Background. However, this was not at "The alias would first explore memory loss with [2005 album]," because Kirby himself has spoken in an Ondarock interview (I can't remember which, ironically) that even his albums from the 90s already explored memory loss—only (badly) distorting 80s pop songs rather that 20s ballroom music.
 * Trangent, but that note of 80s songs not working is rather astue. I heard a remix album of Everywhere - Nowhere at the millennium of space - that did that idea and it worked well until I got to the third track, to which i simply said: Oh, It's Every Breath...a song I recall quite well. Kind of fell apart :)


 * The caption about Al Bowly could expand on his presence on the album.
 * , I've expanded on his presence on the Caretaker project by adding "a big band artist extensively sampled by the Caretaker" now; some paragraphs ahead there is "According to Kirby, Bowlly is 'one of the main guys' sampled by him.", so this seems appropriate. Wetrorave (talk) 18:57, 13 August 2021 (UTC)

Music and Stages

 * Considering Kirby removed the lyrics, the use of "poetic" here is a bit confusing. If it's a mark of quality, then that could be editorializing.
 * It is not used as a mark of quality or praise, and the phrase refers to the track titles rather than the lyrics. Wetrorave (talk) 18:57, 13 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "Another musician likened to Everywhere is Burial" → Fellow electronic musician, Burial's style has been compared to the sound of Everywhere. - The current wording may imply that Everywhere is a musician and confuse readers.
 * ✅. Wetrorave (talk) 18:57, 13 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "Track titles suggest a light mood, with names such as "Childishly Fresh Eyes" and "The Loves of My Entire Life".[10] Other names, such as "We Don't Have Many Days" and "Slightly Bewildered", portray sadder themes associated with old age.[23]" - I feel this could be merged, by saying: "The album features a range of emotions, mostly by the notions its song titles invoke."
 * ✅. Wetrorave (talk) 20:10, 15 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Does Palozzo (2016) expand on its cinematic comparisons? I feel some readers may be confused in regards to the relation of film and music, especially whether it's subtextual, aesthetic, musical...etc.
 * I've added "specifying the "elegance" on Kubrick's film and the drama on Allen's work." Is this good? Wetrorave (talk) 20:10, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Yep


 * "sadder emotional state" → "Sorrow" - more formal prose.
 * ✅, also because the way it was previously phrased was redundant. Wetrorave (talk) 20:10, 15 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "a result of using a sample from a different performance of the piece" - I can't find this supported by Hazelwood (2021) or Doran (2016); I'd appreciate it being highlighted.
 * It's at Doran-2016: "a different version of the same song", however I've now changed it to be more accurate: "a result of using a sample from a different version of the piece." Wetrorave (talk) 00:53, 16 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "Although Kirby described "It's Just a Burning Memory" as upbeat, "What Does It Matter How My Heart Breaks" sounded "as if the band haven't had a coffee yet." → WDIMHMHB (obviously write the abbreviation out), in contrast to IJABM, sounded downbeat to Kirby.
 * changed to "This version, in contrast to its Stage 1 counterpart, sounded downbeat to Kirby." Wetrorave (talk) 00:53, 16 August 2021 (UTC)
 * This version is better than my suggestion. DMT Biscuit (talk) 21:14, 17 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "I can't believe it's just a burning memory / Heartaches, heartaches / What does it matter how my heart breaks?" - are these italics for emphasis? If so, the text should clarify.
 * It's for emphasis but I've now decided to remove the italics completely, since IMO what this means is a bit obvious to the reader. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "heavily differs" → "differs heavily" - flows better.
 * ✅. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "albeit" → [an alternative, per your discretion] - albeit invokes I a little too much – and, to quote the late great David Berman, "I is a pretty heavy concept"; it's also probably a MOS violation. Either way, best left aside.
 * ✅ - changed to "although". Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)

Production

 * "on his flat" - or in his flat?
 * Must have been an error of mine; ✅. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)

R&P

 * I don't see the value or insight of [62], beyond being a charming joke.
 * I had added that ref as a way to kind of emphasize on Kirby's opinion about this but yeah, it's not insightful anyways so ✅. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)

I&P

 * "Several critics" - is a little bit Wikipuffery; considered by few is a better alternative.
 * ✅: changed to Considered by few to be among the best music releases of the 2010s, Everywhere at the End of Time was complimented by some critics as Kirby's magnum opus.


 * "They often described Stage 6 with additional praise, identifying it as a "jaw-dropping piece of sonic art" with "a unique force." - Better suited for the preceding section.
 * ✅. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "...with a Tiny Mix Tapes writer attributing this to Stage 6 "going fully corny in its final minutes." - I don't see the causal link between this statement and what it succeeds. An explanation would be appreciated.
 * ✅ - you are correct, changed to with a Tiny Mix Tapes writer Stage 6 "going fully corny in its final minutes".


 * "Arielle Gordon of Bandcamp Daily attributed to the deterioration of the stages" - probably worth mentioning the "serene" quality, that is more common of ambient music.
 * ✅, though serene is between quotation marks since it could be interpreted as a non-POV statement. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "however, music has been proven to make patients happier." - Although I'm layman-certain that is correct, I don't see it supported by Ezra (2018)
 * It's at the 13th paragraph: While music is not known to induce dementia symptoms in healthy people, and has even been shown to help animate people dealing with memory loss, Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "later called by TikTok" - This seemed very much to be a description by Variety. Lambast if I am wrong.
 * I'm not exactly sure about this as well but it seems like the report is by TikTok themselves. On the source's first paragraph, the magazine refers to the report as TikTok's: When it comes to music, TikTok is not your usual platform, so it’s not surprising that its first year-end report has a different approach. Also, after we skeptically asked for more data, they sent our request to their U.S. music editorial lead, William Gruger [...] who lived up to his title with some detailed details and data beyond what was in the press release, which are woven into the following article. This is indeed a bit post-awareness confusing at first, but reading the text it seems like this is a report that this William Gruger (a TikTok employee) sent to the magazine. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)

Spotchecks

 * Hazelwood (2021): The article says that "Kirby's work focuses less on physical decay than that record does", however, Hazelwood writes that the differentiation is that The Loops are physically disoriented - very much implying that Everywhere doesn't feature physical disorientation.
 * Changed to Kirby's work does not focus on physical decay, while that record does. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "On the last six minutes, a song from Selected Memories can be heard." - I don't see this supported by Vukos (2021).
 * It's at the 16th paragraph: both a manipulated excerpt from Bach’s ‘St. Luke Passion’, but also a track entitled ‘Friends Past Reunited’ from The Caretaker’s first album, and the Caretaker's first album is Selected Memories from the Haunted Ballroom. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "The series ends with a minute of silence, representing the death of the patient." - I mostly don't see this supported by Ryce (2019); the concluding paragraphs mentions the drone, not silence. The "kind of oblivion" mentioned in both is, of course, present in both.
 * ✅ - I've simply removed the ref so that this can be sourced to Hazelwood-2021, which talks about both the silence and the death at for one minute, there is only silence, placed here for exactly one reason: to give The Caretaker, our subject, the moment of silence they deserve. With that minute, the losing battle and long decline are over. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Bowe (2019): "pale romantizcation"; supported by both.


 * The Quietus (2019): "it does not present Kirby's sound as the Caretaker, portraying the patient's anxiety"; supported by both

Conclusion
Good shape, good article. A thorough look over sources would be benefical - and maybe a trip to the WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors.
 * thanks a lot for this thorough review. I believe I have addressed all issues in this edit, as well as re-wording Reynolds said Kirby "could have renamed himself The Caregiver to Reynolds said the Caretaker "could have renamed himself The Caregiver for more clarity. Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Your welcome. I've looked over your rationales/clarifications and are satisfied with all. FAC-ready, in my opinion. DMT Biscuit (talk) 16:21, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I will now close this review then, if that is the case, but for now I'll focus on finding a mentor. Wish me luck at FAC :) Wetrorave (talk) 01:14, 24 August 2021 (UTC)

Misc

 * I noticed that in some of the Tiny Mix Tapes citations, the credited author is "Mr P". It's better to use their real name, which is Marvin Lin. DMT Biscuit (talk) 23:08, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Good point. I didn't know what their real name was, however I've changed it to "Marvin Lin (Mr P)". Is this acceptable? Wetrorave (talk) 15:16, 30 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, like I said above, use level 4 and 5 headers only. Wetrorave (talk) 13:51, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Yes this is fine. DMT Biscuit (talk) 21:23, 12 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Hey DMT, I'll likely close this PR when you are done with it since you (and various others really) have said that the article is ready for FAC. However, is it really good to have a "mentor" when putting an article at FAC for the first time? Did you have one for ACLaM? Wetrorave (talk) 02:01, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Yes. I'd recommend it significantly. In one sense, I have been a mentor but I have been deliberately rather hands-off. If you wish for for more direct input, I can contact some editors – as well as encouraging you contact some you'd feel best compatible with, here's the list: Mentoring for FAC DMT Biscuit (talk) 22:42, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
 * This is tangentially related but I found this journal article which discusses the Caretaker in the context of Hauntology:https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1525/fq.2012.66.1.16 If you're unable to access it, you can through the Library Program. It's a very useful tool - although maybe outside the realm of Leyland Kirby; Vaporwave, I'm sure, will have seen some interest.
 * I will check this article later. I don't believe it would be very useful to this specific article given that it's from 2012 (whereas EATEOT's first stage was released in 2016), but it may be useful while working on An Empty Bliss Beyond This World (released in 2011) or on Patience (After Sebald) (released in 2012). Wetrorave (talk) 13:24, 23 August 2021 (UTC)