Wikipedia:Peer review/External effects on forensic entomology/archive1

External effects on forensic entomology
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because… I would appreciate any editing/adding of information for clarification of the topic. The topic of Degree Days may need some assistance because it is a very technical concept.

Thanks, Sasquash128 (talk) 01:19, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

That's a start for you. The Rambling Man (talk) 17:55, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Comments from
 * Check out WP:LEAD for bold text and lead length - maybe two paragraphs.
 * What's an arthropod? Link or explain.
 * What's an "external effect"?
 * What data are scientists examining? All this needs to be broadly covered in the lead.
 * Moisture levels, Sun exposure, do you want these to be subsections? At the moment they're not and it's not too stylish.
 * Who is quoting for [1]?
 * Don't have spaces before citations as you currently do with [2].
 * More references are required. In general, anything that someone might read and say "According to whom?" or "Who said that?" should be cited.
 * Formulae can be written out using "math" notation.
 * "You add the daily high and low temperatures, then divide by two. After you derive an answer, you subtract a threshold temperature for the particular insect." - not encyclopaedic talk, it's not a recipe book for working out things. Explain the significance and relevance of the formula and its implications, don't tell me how to use the formula.  And definitely don't write in the second person here.
 * Citing the web should use Cite web.
 * Repeated citations should use the  referencing syntax.
 * External links should use either Cite web or should be written out, not just raw URLs.

Thank you for your help, I'll get started on editing.Sasquash128 (talk) 18:23, 31 March 2008 (UTC)