Wikipedia:Peer review/Federal Assault Weapons Ban/archive1

Federal Assault Weapons Ban
The entire article is badly in need of a recent peer review. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 70.254.41.28 (talk • contribs)

User:IvoShandor

 * Speaking of badly in need of, besides a signature, inline citations, this article definitely needs lots and lots of them.
 * In general the article is too listy, the lists in the body of the text should be converted to prose for a smoother read.
 * Debold the link to the main legislation in the lead.
 * Make sure the lead conforms to all guidelines at WP:LEAD.
 * Combine and merge one sentence or short paragraphs, or else delete them, whatever is appropriate.
 * This article should be jargon free, see Technical terms and definitions, an example of a jargon filled sentence follows, the bolded terms would probably not be recognized by anyone unfamiliar with the subject matter.
 * For example, the AB-10 was a post-ban version of the TEC-9, with the barrel threading, and barrel shroud removed; the XM-15 was a legal AR-15 without barrel threading, or a bayonet mounting lug; post-ban semi-automatic AK-47s were also sold without folding stocks, bayonet lugs, and with standard or "thumbhole" stocks instead of pistol-grips.


 * Needs expansion or merged: Section: "Assault weapons ban in other State's politics"
 * A lot of weasel words: most studies, bad.
 * Lots of POV hiding around here, a more thorough read through would be required but here is an example:
 * The Federal Assault Weapons Ban was only a small part .

An important article but it needs a lot of work. IvoShandor 11:18, 20 April 2007 (UTC)