Wikipedia:Peer review/Fergie discography/archive1

Fergie discography
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because it would be fun to nominate it for WP:FL. I worked on it for a couple of days and I think it looks much better now than what it did before. It had 11 citations, and now it has 58. Tell me if there's anything that needs to be improved :)

Thanks, Pancake (talk) 13:45, 24 July 2010 (UTC)


 * Comment: I will review this. In the meantime, can you fix the disambiguation link, identified in the adjacent toolbox? Brianboulton (talk) 16:30, 2 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Done. Pancake (talk) 18:44, 2 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Prose
 * In the first paragraph which defies Fergie's discography, would it be appropriate to include an "as of (date)" clause, as presumably the discography could increase, even though she appears to have given up solo work?


 * She has stated that she "refuses to go solo" so I don't think it will increase anytime soon. Pancake (talk) 21:16, 4 August 2010 (UTC)


 * "In 2006, she revealed she would pursue a solo career as a "side-project", releasing her debut studio album The Dutchess in September 2006". I suggest "announced" rather than "revealed"; the quotes around "side-project" are unnecessary; "and released" rather than "releasing"; the final "2006" is unnecessary.


 * Done. Pancake (talk) 21:16, 4 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Suggest "51st" looks better thsn "fifty-first", and "20th" better than "twentieth"


 * Done. Pancake (talk) 21:16, 4 August 2010 (UTC)


 * "the lead single "London Bridge", "Glamorous" and "Big Girls Don't Cry" topped the Billboard Hot 100..." needs a bit of revision for clarity, along the lines: "the lead single "London Bridge" and two further tracks, "Glamorous" and "Big Girls Don't Cry", each topped the Billboard Hot 100..."


 * Done. Pancake (talk) 21:16, 4 August 2010 (UTC)


 * "All of the singles sold over 2 million paid downloads each in the U.S." I think this should read "Each of the singles sold over 2 million paid downloads in the U.S." And is it necessary to specify "paid" after you've sais "sold"?


 * Done. Pancake (talk) 21:16, 4 August 2010 (UTC)


 * "shifting" is a bit informal, and the -ing form is grammatically wrong anyway. "...and had sold 2.4 million..." etc would be correct.


 * Done. Pancake (talk) 21:16, 4 August 2010 (UTC)


 * "...as of February 2009" is a long time ago. "...as of December 2007" is ancient history. Can you uodate these figures at least to December 2009, preferably later?


 * Trust me, I've been searching a lot for some updates sales. Maybe I could just remove the "...as of..."? I mean I don't think the numbers from February 2009 or December 2007 have improved that much since she hasn't released any new material since spring 2008. Pancake (talk) 21:16, 4 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Lists: these seem to be skillfully compiled, but I'm having difficulty in relating them to the information in the text. The first paragraph of the lead defines the discography as "one solo studio album, one extended play and eleven singles, including six as a featured artist". That covers the first four lists. Does the fifth list, headed "Other charted songs", comprise the "four new songs" included with the deluxe edition of The Dutchess? It is not obvious that it does. The rest of the tables, dealing with "Album appearances" and "Music videos", don't appear to be covered in the lead at all. Some clarification necessary.


 * Other charted songs:
 * "Here I Come" and "Finally" are from the original edition of the Dutchess. "Personal (Big Girls Remix)" is from the Japanese edition I believe. "Labels or Love" was featured on the deluxe edition, but it was the soundtrack to Sex and the City, so that's why it charted.


 * Album appearances & music videos:
 * I don't think it's necessary to mention the album appearances as they were never released as singles. I added "other appearances" to the infobox and added a sentence about her soundtrack appearances to the lead. Music videos are usually not mentioned in the lead. Pancake (talk) 21:16, 4 August 2010 (UTC)

That's all I can find. As I am not able at the moment to watch my peer reviews, please use my talkpage if you want to raise any issues arising from this review. Brianboulton (talk) 16:56, 4 August 2010 (UTC)