Wikipedia:Peer review/Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering/archive1

Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering
I've been working on this article for some time, but it needs some NPOV work and it still has a long way to go. Specific suggestions are most appreciated. --L33tminion | (talk) 15:26, Apr 5, 2005 (UTC)

Some comments from someone who had never heard of this college before reading the article. I've tried to be as specific as possible but really, you are right in saying it has a long way to go. It seems as if large portions of the text are written by the institution itself or some very happy students that try to uphold a view of very hardworking, responsible and generally almost perfect students. I'd say: surreal.
 * The lead deals too much with the accreditation issue. This could be summarized to make room for a summary of the overall article.
 * From the history section: "The class of 2006 also included". It seems incorrect to speak about 2006 in the past tense.
 * The section "The Olin Experiment" reads like advertising. I agree with the suggestion on the talk page: get rid of the mishmash of bullets. The college has some noteable unique policies but it shouldn't be hard to rip out about half of the points that are not really that unique. I'll detail for a bit here.
 * "Excellent opportunities for undergraduate research." What are the opportunities?
 * "An active relationship with the corporate engineering world." Advertising. How is this unique?
 * "Emphasis on business and entrepreneurship". idem
 * "42 clubs (not including..." idem
 * "Approximately equal enrollment of men and women" Is this an enforced policy?
 * Yes, the admissions office specifically tries to maintain an equal ratio. (They can't make it perfectly equal because you can't predict exactly who will choose to go to the college once accepted.)  --L33tminion | (talk) 20:39, Apr 7, 2005 (UTC)
 * "An honor code" At this point in the article it is not clear what this means.


 * The honor code itself reads as a summary of common sense to me. I suggest to delete it since it is not interesting.
 * It's rather essential to the college itself, though. The code is signed by every student.  But I can tone down that section a bit...  --L33tminion | (talk) 20:39, Apr 7, 2005 (UTC)


 * "Admission policy and ..." This section is advertising. "Olin College's believes..." is not a factual sentence. "In addition, Olin admissions..." Try to reverse its meaning and find one college that would state as a policy: "we try to limit admissions to a few select groups"
 * Just delete the quote from the website in the section "Academics". I was unable to read more than two lines of it since it made my stomach turn. The fourth paragraph of this section is highly problematic. Tone down "Even the upper administration is very...". "This is viewed as especially important..." viewed by who? The sentence seems redundant.
 * The section "Residential life" again reads as an advertisement. "The dorms at Olin have a strong sense of community." is redundant, should follow from the facts. "Many Olin students prefer a busy schedule." Many? "In addition to their hectic academic schedules," tone it down.
 * The section "Culture" contains some interesting facts. However "Although Olin students care about academics, they try to keep a sense of perspective..." too obvious, we all try that: delete. "Because of this hectic pace, the stress level at Olin is occasionally very high." does not read as factual.
 * The "Architecture" section contains the following problems: " with the impressive steel, ..." "a more natural seeming place ..." " giving the space an ordered but informal feel."
 * I have to tone down my brilliant overenthusiastic prose? Awww...  :-P  --L33tminion | (talk) 21:50, Apr 7, 2005 (UTC)

Good luck! Jan van Male 18:59, 5 Apr 2005 (UTC)
 * I made some major edits to the article. Not sure it's there yet, but it's much improved, IMO.  I appreciate any further suggestions or edits you can make.  Thanks for all your help.  --L33tminion | (talk) 21:50, Apr 7, 2005 (UTC)

I agree wholeheartly, the article is much improved. I tried some edits myself, please do check the accuracy. I've sometimes guessed, assumed and probably also misunderstood in the process of rephrasing.
 * From the lead "Olin College is a selective, private college", what does selective mean in this context?
 * We're the 17th most selective college in the US according to the Princeton Review. (Actually, I thought that was no longer in the article.  It might need to be removed due to POV problems.)    --L33tminion | (talk) 01:30, Apr 17, 2005 (UTC)
 * ''Olin is now the 5th Toughest School to get in to according to the Princeton Review.


 * Does the project-based learning indeed start immediately? Is the entire curriculum designed around this or are there also traditional classes? First I got the impression of the former (and edited accordingly), now I'm not too sure.
 * The project based and interdisciplinary learning starts immediately, with the "Integrated Course Blocks" Freshman year (three interconnected classes each semester; calculus, physics, and engineering). It's one of the major focuses of the college's approach, although there are some more traditional classes.  --L33tminion | (talk) 01:30, Apr 17, 2005 (UTC)


 * How did the Olin foundation acquire the money to found the college?
 * I've been meaning to write the article on the foundation, but I've been having a hard time finding information. The foundation was founded by Franklin W. Olin, an entrepreneur and "self-made man".  He was a farmer, got into Cornell, studied chemical engineering, and started a munitions business just in time for WWI.  The guy also played baseball in college, and was a professional baseball player (major league, I think) before he founded his business.  At any rate, he made a fortune and left his money to found the foundation, which supports business and engineering education (of course, the foundation has also gotten donations since then).  The foundation has created colleges at a lot of universities (I need to track down the full list, but I believe there are over 40 buildings named after Olin that the foundation has funded, including Olin College of Business at Babson College and Olin School of Buisness at Washington University in St. Louis.)  The foundation no longer exists.  It has poured all its resources into the Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering, the first independent college funded by the foundation.  --L33tminion | (talk) 01:30, Apr 17, 2005 (UTC)


 * In the section on the honor code what is meant by "governing policies set up by the Office of Student Life"?
 * Disciplinary policies for the school. One oddity of our honor code is that each vote to ammend leads to a vote to abolish.  Under the honor code, the honor board (part of the student government), handles discipline (the dean of student life can veto decisions, but, as far as I know that's an emergency power that's never been used).  If the honor code was abolished, that job would fall back to the Office of Student Life, and they already have policies written that would deal with that. (I hope that's an adequate explanation.)  --L33tminion | (talk) 01:30, Apr 17, 2005 (UTC)


 * This probably marks me as a non-US citizen but I didn't immediately understand the term "Greek life" in the culture section. Searching on WP did turn up some usefull clues but no satisfying definition to link to.
 * Means fraternities and sororities. I thought that was generally known, but feel free to change it to something more clear. --L33tminion | (talk) 01:30, Apr 17, 2005 (UTC)

Jan van Male 17:58, 8 Apr 2005 (UTC)