Wikipedia:Peer review/Freddie Mercury/archive1

Freddie Mercury

 * The article is pretty comprehensive, and contains lots of good information, but it is still some ways away from being worthy of becoming a Featured Article. What changes, edits, and alterations would you recommend? TheImpossibleMan 01:49, 23 March 2006 (UTC)


 * Increase the lead to conform to WP:LEAD and WP:WIAFA
 * Convert the inline external links to WP:FOOTNOTEs (or other inline citations), using WP:CITE methods. (consider Cite web)
 * I see no reason why biographies should be numbered
 * Why does Discography use a = = header ?
 * I would like a citation for "His exceptional voice, coupled with a vibrant stage personality, earned accolades and drew record crowds", otherwise POV
 * Might just be my word preference here, but is the word "serve" (at end of lead) appropriate? Sounds as if his death's function was to increase the awareness of AIDS
 * I see no reason for "The poll was topped by Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley, Nat King Cole and Ella Fitzgerald."
 * Citation should be provided for quote: "Everyone has to have a gimmick, dear."
 * Could use grammar run-through; some examples:
 * "he died at home in the presence of close friends at age 45" sounds as if the friends were 45, which is what I actually thought at first
 * "His £12 million will was much less money than he was thought to have earned." A will "is not much less money", however the 12 million is.
 * "involved the use of a microphone and stand minus the bottom section"- sounds awkward
 * "anywhere"." period should go in quote
 * Thanks, AndyZ 02:20, 23 March 2006 (UTC)


 * Trivia should be integrated in the text. Early life should be expanded, copyedit needed. More on family needed. =Nichalp   «Talk»=  17:27, 24 March 2006 (UTC)


 * The article links to a lot of other articles on the internet. But it does not link to any sources outside of the internet. A lot of the featured articles will actually quote outside sources (e.g. "The New York Times" April 15, 1997 section 4 page 3). On the other hand, the article does contain a lot of really interesting internet articles, and sources appear to be well documented. Furthermore, it would not be that hard to add a few outside sources as well. (TAY)


 * A couple of additional photos might also be interesting, especially something from the 1970s. The photo shown at the top of the page is not as familiar to a lot of Americans, who remember Freddie Mercury more from the 1970s.