Wikipedia:Peer review/Freeza/archive1

Freeza
I and other users have been putting some work into this article lately hoping to get it to WP:GA status, and if I could ask for some feedback and opinions on the current page it'd be much appreciated. I'd like to think I'm not jumping the gun for thinking it's near that quality, but if so, please bring us down to earth so we can eventually get it there. Thanks in advance for any help. Voice of Treason 22:01, 8 July 2006 (UTC)
 * Basically, the article fails to fulfill the fictional style guide. There is no Toriyama's opinion about how he created the article, why, if he wanted to probe something, etc. Some other thoughts (in random order):
 * Considered non-canonical by fans References for this? Note that fans are not, as far as I know, considered a reliable source.
 * The footnotes are not really helpful. Some planets are numbered; Vegeta visited Planet Freeza #79 briefly after his defeat on Earth (Volume #21, Chapter #6). At the time, Freeza himself was using that planet as a base, but was absent while making his way to Namek. Not all Freeza-dominated worlds, such as Planet Vegeta, were numbered. Volume #21, Chapter #6, of which comic? Which edition? I would suggest to use cite book to put the same information but in a sorted way.
 * and arguably its best-known villain Reference? This is a peacock term, the article may have more.
 * It is likely that all of these planets were dominated through either conquest or threat of conquest, either by Freeza himself or one of several affiliated groups. proposing theories and solutions is considered original research and should be removed.
 * It's been noted that this story bares a striking resemblance to the origins of the comic book superhero, Superman. Who? Where? When? Why?
 * (which has given rise to thought that Cold himself can change form, and that this particular one was his preferred state) and (some might say, "more androgynous") Again, who? Where? When? Why?
 * Headlines should go to the point, they appear to be chapter titles. Fall instead of Fall of a tyrant, in example.
 * The article is not "casual friendly". Someone who does not know about the topic can become rather puzzled. In example, DBZ fandom (usually between sub and dub factions) is throwing four terms (DBZ, fandom, sub and dub) that are not defined in the article, nor linked to.
 * References format. It is accepted to put the references after the punctuation signs. not before (Coola[3],) nor disappearing the sign (North Kaiō [4]) nor putting a space after the sign (muscled. [10])
 * A casual user should be able to read and understand the article without having to click wikilinks. A sentence like indeed, he is called the most powerful being in the universe by North Kaiō [4] leaves him wondering who North Kaiō is and why should he (the reader) care about his opinion. In the worst scenario, the reader may wonder if North Kaiō is a fictional or a real person.
 * The article uses quite a lot of phrases that could be removed. In example, However, this is not Freeza's true form. Or But Freeza was far from dead. Is there any need to put these commentaries? It is not using a formal tone, but instead a "novel" one.
 * Images don't have Fair use rationale. See here and here.
 * I question the Fair use license in some images. The Appearances in video games section does not talk nor explain why Image:FreezaLovesSNES.jpg is being used there. Thus, I assume it is being used as decoration, which is a fault to the Fair use criteria #8.
 * The Appearances in movies and specials section could use dates. At least, the year in parenthesis.
 * I find some sections, like Techniques and transformations, with too few wikilinks.
 * - where he easily makes sport of Piccolo -. Per dash guidelines, use – or &mdash; in the correct format.
 * This is a personal opinion, thus you should not really care about it: I never liked the left-aligned images right after a title.
 * I think these are all the ones I can think of right now. From a "this is an article about Freeza" point of view, the article is much better than others, and believe me, I have read much worse ones. However, from the "this in an encyclopedia entry about Freeza", the article is still far from it. Now that there are written fictional guidelines, I am not sure it may achieve Good status. -- ReyBrujo 22:56, 8 July 2006 (UTC)
 * Disclaimer: I am not someone who really knows about good fictional articles. Just someone who, as you said, was brought down to earth after thinking he had written a good article ;-) -- ReyBrujo 22:58, 8 July 2006 (UTC)
 * Ouch. I'll implement these then and forget about WP:GA. Maybe it can be assessed a decent class in the anime project or something. Thanks. Voice of Treason 23:07, 8 July 2006 (UTC)
 * And non-canonical in this case would be "not present in the original Dragon Ball manga work and being creations of Toei Animation or Toriyama's Neko Majin Z". But I guess that could have been explained better than the link provided to the article devoted on it here. The other stuff I'll do. Voice of Treason 23:12, 8 July 2006 (UTC)
 * One step at a side. That I don't think it may qualify as Good article doesn't mean it won't: I am not member of the GA project, nor a regular "peer reviewist", I only (for now) review articles that I have in my watchlist. Note that if the GA fails, the reviewer will also give tips about why it failed, which may be useful as future reference to continue polishing the article. -- ReyBrujo 23:25, 8 July 2006 (UTC)
 * I know; I appreciate your feedback in the improvement of the article. And as said, I'm thankful for the help. Constructive criticism just shows the article's not "there" yet, and comments like yours may help it to be. Please don't feel like I'm upset or angry or anything.


 * Thanks again. Voice of Treason 23:42, 8 July 2006 (UTC)
 * Addressed and crossed through many concerns, I'll extend further reasoning on pictures used and add any more notes/references as needed. I'm also searching for interviews and comments on the character and his part of the series from Toriyama and those inspired by his work. Voice of Treason 05:13, 9 July 2006 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, Andy t 23:50, 9 July 2006 (UTC)