Wikipedia:Peer review/Galaga/archive1

Galaga
Galaga is an article that I have worked real hard on to bring up to GA status, and I see it as one of my best works on this site. I'd really love to take this to FAC, but I think a peer review is necessary to make sure there aren't any glaring issues with it. The GAN was done by an experienced editor so I think they caught a lot of issues in the original Good Article review process. Thanks again. Namcokid 47  (Contribs) 17:29, 27 April 2020 (UTC)

Comments from Guyinblack25
Hard to not comment on such a classic game especially when I've felt that classic game articles hadn't received enough attention to improve their quality. Kudos to you for taking the time. As it's been a while since I've done any editing, feel free to disregard my comments if they don't match current quality standards.

Lead
 * Maybe move the sentence about it being a sequel sooner in the paragraph to provide more context for the layman.
 * Maybe mention that the Galaga forces are alien to be clear/explicit: "...in each stage while avoiding alien enemies and...".
 * "Development was led by Shigeru Yokoyama and a small team." Do you mean that Shigeru Yokoyama lead development with a small team?
 * Need commas around the name of the president in this case: "...with Namco's president, Masaya Nakamura, even...". Unless you remove the apostrophe instead and refer to him as "Namco president Masaya Nakamura".
 * The pronoun "it" is used a lot. Maybe switch that out with "the game" or "the title" so the prose isn't as repetitive.

Gameplay
 * Image caption - Maybe include some parenthesis about which is the player ship (bottom center) and which is the Boss Galaga (lower left section of the screen).
 * Image file - include more details about the screenshot in the description to provide context to the layman and strengthen the fair use rationale. What are the numbers at the top? What are the icons at the bottom? What is happening in the scene? The more relevant information here, the more informed the reader will be and the stronger the fair use rationale will be.
 * I think this is more clear: "Similar to Galaxian, aliens will dive towards the starfighter while they shoot projectiles downward;...".
 * Reduce the use of "it" to make the sentence more clear: "Shooting the Boss Galaga as it dives towards the player...".

Development
 * The "comma and" in this sentence is awkward. Maybe this instead: "This new arcade board, named the Namco Galaga, was used in games including...".
 * Is the name or maybe the genre of the film that Yokoyama saw known?
 * I assume the 16×16 sprite is 16 pixels. If it is, measures should be used per WP:UNITSYMBOLS. Also, use the multiplication sign (× or &amp;times;) between the numbers.

That's all I have time for at the moment. Hope it helps. I'll try to post more later this week. I may have some addition sources for the reception section. If I find the time, I'll take a look through some arcade and classic gaming books I have (feel free to message me if that takes too long). (Guyinblack25 talk 17:56, 4 May 2020 (UTC))


 * Development continued
 * The sentence about "graphic designer Hiroshi Ono" seems tacked on. Maybe move it to the first paragraph of the Development section after Yokoyama's role is stated or when ship and bullet sprites are mentioned.
 * When describing the graphic artist's role in making the instruction card, did the source provide more details? "the actual design" doesn't provide much context. Graphic artists typically design the layout, visual design and graphical elements. Did they do that here or did they provide input on the content as well?
 * I don't think the main idea in the sentence about the location testing is clear. What were the expectations for the location testing? Was it to have players play short games or to generate income? If it was to generate income I would reword the sentence: "...tests failed to generate enough income to meet expectations; players were able to progress far in the game on a single coin."
 * Reword for active voice: "Midway Games published it in North America during October of that year."


 * Conversions
 * "...a year later in 1984" seems redundant. I would remove the 1984 since the previous sentence gives context for when "a year later" would be. Maybe "An MSX version followed the next year."?
 * The bit about GB title being a bundle is awkwardly placed. Maybe "Namco published a Game Boy version, Galaxian & Galaga, bundled with Galaxian in Japan in 1995."
 * Regarding the mobile releases in 2001, was service or access restricted to Japan or were the games just exclusively released in Japan?
 * I would add (NES) after the first mention of the Nintendo Entertainment System so the layman will associate the abbreviations in the rest of the article.
 * At the start of the third paragraph, there is "included" followed soon after by "including". I would change one of them to reduce repetitiveness. Maybe "such as" rather than "including"?


 * Reception
 * If possible, I would attribute the reception to the authors/writers of the individual sources. I used to put "Example Publication staff" or "Example Magazine writer" when an author isn't available.
 * In the last sentence of the second paragraph, is it "leaderboards add to the addictiveness or "leaderboards add to addictiveness"?
 * Is there a citation for the GameSpot comments in paragraph 3?
 * For the sentence about GI ranking it the 19th greatest game, I would move the "in 2001" to the beginning of the sentence. Right now it is ambiguous: was it "called one of the greatest games ever made in 2001" or "in 2001, it was called one of the greatest games ever made"? Quotes around "greatest video game ever made" is another approach.
 * The multiple "and"s in the sentence about the accolades from EGM is a bit awkward/crowded. Maybe change the second one to "as well as": "...in 2001, as well as #28 in their...".
 * In the sentence about KLOV, there is "listed" followed soon after by "list". I would change the first one to reduce repetitiveness. Maybe "placed"?


 * I'll finish up the last section later. Hope this helps. (Guyinblack25 talk 18:53, 5 May 2020 (UTC))
 * Related media
 * Just throwing this out there- maybe move the first paragraph to the "Conversions" section and rename that as "Release and conversions". The miniature cabinets and inclusion in the bundle cabinets seems like a better fit with ports and compilations. There's information in the Official Price Guide to Classic Video Games (see my comment about books below) about the cabinets as well that would apply to the release.
 * "baring resemblance" or "bearing resemblance"?
 * I would switch the sentence about it being the loading screen game to active voice by adding the developer: "Namco used Galaga as a loading screen minigame in the...". The also reduces the number of paragraphs that start with "Galaga:.
 * The sentence about Space Galaga has a lot of commas. I would tweak it to make it easier to read: "...Space Dandy, an iOS remake titled Space Galaga was released...".
 * I would give a time frame for the announcement of the television adaptation since it's been a few years. This will give better context for the info.
 * Sources
 * I don't know whether Hardcore Gaming 101 is considered a reliable resource. I'll defer to more active editors familiar with the VG Project's standards though.
 * Publisher for the Computer + Video Games, Vidiot, Games, Flux and Electronic Gaming Monthly references?
 * This is a great article, and I'm happy to see a classic game like this getting attention. Good luck at FAC.
 * I did find books that may be helpful: Arcade Fever, Official Price Guide to Classic Video Games and Guinness World Records 2008: Gamer's Edition. Email me if you're interested. If not, I may try add them in down the road at some point. (Guyinblack25 talk 21:29, 6 May 2020 (UTC))

Comments from Shooterwalker
It's been a long time since I've edited Wikipedia. Finding myself with a bit more free time these days, and hopefully I can offer some constructive comments. It's an excellent article, and these are tiny nitpicks, but I remember featured articles being really focused on those little details.


 * I feel like a few more subheadings could improve organization and readability. Worst case, it might involve slight rewrites to keep things into their appropriate subtopics. The development and reception sections are both excellently researched otherwise.


 * There's a fair bit of passive voice. I think there's a time and place for it, where it improves flow and readability, but there's other times where it becomes more readable and clear in the conventional term. Compare "Galaga has been listed by numerous publications among the greatest" to "Publications have listed Galaga among the greatest" or even "Galaga has earned praise among the greatest".


 * There's a few links to redirects that would benefit from a more direct link (like Shoot'em up instead of Shoot 'em up).


 * You really want that first topic sentence in "gameplay" to dumb it right down for someone who has no idea what the game is. I'd definitely describe the top down view in my first sentence.


 * The last paragraph in the gameplay section feel a little "misc", and could be improved by re-arranging the sentences, starting with a good topic sentence. Maybe start with "Enemies become more aggressive as the game progresses," and try to make that paragraph about that.


 * More clarity stuff -- "The idea for the dual fighter stemmed from Yokoyama wanting to create enemies with different attack styles." --> "Yokohama created/invented/conceived of the dual fighter mechanic to create enemies with different attack styles." I might also move this sentence to the end of the paragraph, since the rest of the paragraph is really about the tractor beam.


 * Another more active suggestion -- "Galaga was used as a loading screen minigame" --> "Galaga appears as" or "Galaga is featured as".

Thanks for taking on a classic game like this. Hope this stuff helps. And as always WP:IGNORE me if you have a good reason. Shooterwalker (talk) 18:33, 4 May 2020 (UTC)