Wikipedia:Peer review/Geelong High School/archive1

Geelong High School
This peer review discussion has been closed. I am requesting a peer review for this article because I would like to get some feedback on what is needed to bring this article up to Good Article status. The article is a C-class article at the moment and I want to improve it even further.

Thanks, Joker264 (talk) 12:37, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: Thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia. I like seeing articles about schools, and I have no doubt that you can improve this one. Here are several suggestions that should help get you started.


 * Many of the claims in the article are not supported by inline citations to reliable sources and thus do not meet WP:V. The entire "History" section, for example, is without sources. My rule of thumb is to include a source for every set of statistics, every direct quotation, every claim that is unusual, and every paragraph. If one source supports an entire paragraph, the inline citation belongs at the end of the paragraph.


 * The lede should be an inviting summary of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include at least a mention of each of the main text sections. It might be good to put off major revisions to the lede, though, until you've finished with major revisions to the main text. Even though the lede comes first, I often write it last.


 * Why are all the images red-linked and invisible?


 * Avoid starting sentences with numbers. "1973 saw the old canteen converted into an arts/craft room... " is an example.


 * Use blockquotes instead of fancy quotes for quotations of four lines or more. WP:MOSQUOTE has details.


 * The Manual of Style frowns upon extremely short paragraphs and extremely short sections because they create a choppy look and feel. Two options for fixing shorties is to expand them or to merge them with other shorties.


 * Try to write ordinary prose paragraphs when feasible rather than creating lists. I use lists only when prose really can't do the job. WP:MOS has details.


 * Most of the citations are malformed or incomplete. Citations to Internet sources should include author, title, publisher, date of publication, url, and date of most recent access if all of those are known or can be found. I like using the "cite" family of templates found at WP:CIT to help me organize my citations. If you choose to use these, don't mix them with the "Citation" family found at WP:CIT also. You can see how these work in edit mode by looking at other articles that use them. See Plano Senior High School, for example, which is a featured article.


 * Although featured articles are not perfect, they are often good models to imitate. You can find a list of other featured articles about schools at WP:FA.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 03:10, 22 December 2010 (UTC)