Wikipedia:Peer review/Genghis Khan/archive1

Genghis Khan
I think this article is quite comprehensive, and tries to clear many elusive understanding of Genghis Khan. It contains variety of cultural viewpoints and covers major ideas and understandings about the man. There are certain areas need to be improved like "Values of Genghis Khan" should be extensively sourced and the last 4 references should follow the cite resources aspect of Wikipedia. Besides that, we can review it and suggest any changes so this article can reach featured article of Wikipedia. Any suggestions are welcome. 168.253.11.221 01:22, 14 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * I'm sorry, but this is not the way to use peer review. The article was already on FAC when it was posted here, and it should not be on both. Please remove it either from PR or from FAC. (If I don't hear from you within 24 hours, I'll assume your posting here was a mistake and remove it from here myself.) If peer review is where you want it to be listed (which I think would be the best), it's very welcome here, and please consider moving the useful comments you've already received on FAC to this page, so peer reviewers aren't left to pointlessly discover and write about the same things. Also, please sign your listing above (with four tildes). Best wishes, Bishonen | Talk 00:29, 14 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * Ok I removed this article from the FAC. I can't really exactly remember what a user suggested on the FAC. But he/she pointed out the following suggestions: 1) Fix the last 4 references to fit the Wikipedia citing resources guidelines. 2) Fix the weird structure of sections, and make it easy to follow 3) He/she would like to see this copy-edited. The first 2 are basically done from my standpoint and we really need copy-edit on this article. Thanks. 168.253.11.221 01:22, 14 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * You can't? Right, well, to show the specific objections made to the present structure, I paste in the FAC comments of Phils below. I actually don't agree with you that the merging of "Legacy" and "Perceptions" that Phils recommends has been taken care of. While the sections have been moved into a joint section "Genghis Kahn today", which is a good idea as far as it goes, they're still separate, which doesn't work. They need a rewrite/merge into one single internally coherent text (it would by no means be enough to remove their separate headings). I can't see that the references have been formatted any, they look exactly the same as before, and the third web-based reference is absolutely terrible (it leads to a Google search!). Please see Cite sources. Bishonen | Talk 09:27, 14 Feb 2005 (UTC)
 * Object.: Good article, but: 1) The four web-based references should be formatted according to the formatting guidelines found here: Cite sources. 2) The article is pretty long and exhibits a strange structure: it begins with an account of his early life, followed by Values of Genghis Kahn, a moral portrait that should be more extensively sourced because it contains a lot of strong statements about his personal beliefs. Next is a section called Mongols before Genghis Kahn, a section I think could be disposed of. There is already a separate article, and the information in it is only remotely related to Genghis Kahn himself. Uniting the tribes and the two next sections continue Gengis Kahn's biography started 2 sections before, this time concentrating on military achievements. The structure then completely spins out of control with Political achievements, a rather shallow section with some overlap with the self-confessed stub subsection Politics in the Organization section. Perceptions of Genghis Kahn and Legacy should be merged somehow and moved to the end, as the perceptions covers modern-day perceptions more than contemporary ones. 3) I would like to see this article copy-edited. The tone and language is acceptable, but it could easily be made more fitting for an encyclopedia article if someone was willing to spend some time on it. Phils 18:43, 12 Feb 2005 (UTC)