Wikipedia:Peer review/Gone for Goode/archive1

Gone for Goode
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to pursue a FAC for it, and would like to see if there are any prose problems or any other possible FAC concerns. Thanks! —  Hun ter   Ka  hn  21:59, 4 January 2010 (UTC)


 * Perhaps full review coming, but "Levinson and Fontana also humor to be incorporated into the show" seems to be missing a word. Mm40 (talk) 22:44, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Indeed, I added "allowed". Whoops! :) —  Hun ter   Ka  hn  23:08, 4 January 2010 (UTC)

Note to Hunter Kahn: Hi there. The rules of Peer Review, given on the WP:PR page, allow one nomination per editor per day. This is your second nom for 4 January, following Three Men and Adena. The rule is designed to prevent overcrowding at PR, where we are somewhat short of regular reviewers. Can you bear this rule in mind for the future, please. Brianboulton (talk) 00:33, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry, I was honestly unaware of the rule. Should I remove some of the other nominations? —  Hun ter   Ka  hn  03:49, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

Comments from
 * You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC. The sourcing looks good.
 * Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 16:34, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is certainly broad in coverage and probably comprehensive; it's neutral, stable, and seems well-sourced. I found and fixed quite a few small errors in the prose, and here is a list of other suggestions.


 * The images need alt text. WP:ALT has details.


 * "Steve Harris" links to a disambiguation page.

Images
 * The lead image is of such low quality, it might not survive scrutiny at FAC. It's impossible to see clearly the features of the man on the left. Would it be possible to replace it with a better screen shot?

''Lead"
 * "The episode interconnects several subplots involving the detectives of a Baltimore Police Department homicide unit... " - "Connects" rather than "interconnects"?

''Plot"
 * "They investigate the body of a man dead in a basement, and much to Baldwin's bewilderment, Felton solves the case easily." - Something amiss here. Baldwin is the actor who plays Felton.
 * "The owner of the house, Jerry Jempson (Jim Grollman), literally calls Felton at the house while she is investigating... " - Isn't Felton a "he"?
 * "but he is guilted by his partner Bolander (Ned Beatty)" - "Guilted" is not a word. Perhaps "made to feel guilty by"?

Development and writing
 * "The first episode was noted at the time for interweaving four separate storylines into a single episode... " - "Weaving" instead of "interweaving"?
 * "Additionally, despite a heavily hyped advertising campaign for the Homicide premiere..." - I don't think the advertising campaign was heavily hyped. Suggestion: "Additionally, despite intense advance promotion of the Homicide premiere... ".
 * The second paragraph is quite repetitive. For example, it uses "inspired" or some other variation on "inspire" at least five times. Could some of the sentences be merged or recast to reduce the repetition?
 * "Levinson specifically asked the body by Howard and Felton be badly decomposing and attracting flies because he felt other police dramas did not portray corpses in a realistic way." - Word or words missing?

Editing and photography style
 * "jump cuts" - Wikilink jump cuts?
 * "While filming the episode, Levinson said he would simply allow the actors to perform and switch back and forth between them with the hand-held camera, rather than filming individual scenes from multiple angles and carefully planned shots." Awkward. Suggestion: "While filming the episode, Levinson said he would simply allow the actors to perform while he switched back and forth between them with the hand-held camera instead of filming carefully planned shots and individual scenes from multiple angles."
 * "This camera style has largely persisted throughout the duration of the series." - This sentence implies that the series has continued through 2010. Should this say, "This camera style largely persisted through the end of the series in XXXX"?

Filming
 * "were used as props in the episode, only about two of the cars were actually drivable" - "Only about two"?
 * "Levinson said Belzer was a "lousy actor" when first read lines from the script for "Gone for Goode" during his audition." - Missing word or words?
 * "played an uncooperative perp who repeatedly lies" - Wikilink perp?

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 02:31, 21 January 2010 (UTC)