Wikipedia:Peer review/Gregory House/archive1

Gregory House
Writing articles on fictional characters has been tricky. Please check to see if there are any original research, excessive information etc. I know there are in-universe perspectives in the article, but I don't know how to change them.

Thanks,

mirageinred 16:21, 29 September 2007 (UTC)


 * First blush:
 * Absolutely make sure there's a dividing line between when you are in-universe and when you switch to purely out-of-universe; the "relationships" section should be above what is presently the "similarities to Holmes" section.
 * The relationship section, to me, seems unnecessary. You cover some of the details already in the biography, and looking at it further, you don't really mention much about getting and retaining his position at PPTH beyond one line, this is likely where you can merge details. (Heck, I would think the entire Voller 1st season arc and the cop arc from last season warrant such inclusion (a sentence) as to why the heck House still is at PPTH).
 * I think if you did absorb the relationship stuff into the biography, your in-universe content is about right. However, you need more out-of-universe stuff.  There has to be interviews with Hugh Laurie or Stone about creating and portraying the character (again, keep in mind this isn't Laurie's biography, but as I understand it, Laurie does bring a lot to how the character developed), which will help fill in the out-of-universe stuff.  Also, I think fair mention of the Emmy nominations Laurie got for portraying House is warranted.
 * Make sure when you do cite other sources, you have the proper citation template.
 * Its definitely not going down the wrong path, just that any further in-universe would be too heavy. --Masem 16:38, 29 September 2007 (UTC)


 * Thank you very much. Is in-universe information allowed at all? Just wondering. mirageinred 18:15, 29 September 2007 (UTC)


 * Strictly speaking, no, its not disallowed. However, in-universe details tend to either give undue weight to the fictional aspects relative to the real-world notability, or too much can be considered too much information.  I think save for that relationship section which can be trimmed and moved elsewhere, you have the right amount of in-universe detail that should match what exists in real-world, secondary sources for House. --Masem 23:41, 29 September 2007 (UTC)


 * I completely merged the relationships section with other sections and elaborated on casting etc although they are still shorter than the in-universe sections. What else can be done? mirageinred 23:44, 1 October 2007 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR t 00:38, 1 October 2007 (UTC)
 * First off, I feel the article requires a more thorough copy edit. There are some prose and tense problems, especially in the Character Overview section. There also appears to be a lot of trivial detail in that section. Personally, the article might benefit if you merged House's Personality section with his character overview and curbed the amount of statements comparing House to his colleagues. I feel that the flow of the article suffers precisely because of this reason. Besides, it invites out of universe and in universe conflicts. Wisdom89 07:11, 11 October 2007 (UTC)
 * Done. But it still needs copy editing. Could you give a hand? mirageinred 19:36, 11 October 2007 (UTC)
 * I will certainly lend a hand - an objective eye is always a good idea Wisdom89 20:58, 11 October 2007 (UTC)

What is the difference between characterization and concept and creation? mirageinred 16:53, 20 October 2007 (UTC)