Wikipedia:Peer review/Grounds for divorce (United States)/archive1

This peer review discussion has been closed.

Grounds for divorce (United States)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because…I am trying to get the article to be good enough for GA status, but there are prose/grammar/style issues that are preventing it from getting there. I and the article's other editors have reached out to various people to help us copy-edit, but our GA reviewer felt that the page still needs work. I was hoping that someone here might have some suggestions for how we might improve the page further.

Thanks, Ntj2 (talk) 21:17, 9 December 2011 (UTC)
 * I'll do this. --Noleander (talk) 04:24, 13 December 2011 (UTC)

Comments from Noleander ... I'll come back and do more later.
 * Section title "Irretrievable breakdown" - probably should be "irreconcilable differences" ... latter seems much more common.
 * Lead - maybe list some major states that are "fault" states, and list some that are "no fault"
 * Wording - ".. the acquisition of no-fault divorce." Acquisition doesnt seem right:  re-structure sentence: maybe "... provides for divorces to be granted without assigning fault .." or similar.
 * "Marriage partners who are living apart have grounds for no-fault divorce...." is that all states? or just some states?
 * "Like Louisiana, various states have statutes requiring the parties to live apart from one another for a certain predetermined period of time" - this needs to be re-worded. Maybe: "Many states have statutes requiring the parties to live apart from one another for a certain predetermined period of time before a no-fault divorce can be granted"
 * "Every state within the United States accepts some form of no-fault divorce" - "accepts" doesnt seem right. Try "provides for" or "accomodates" or 'has provisions for"
 * Two duplicate sentences: "A fault divorce is a divorce which is granted after the party asking for the divorce sufficiently proves that the other party did something wrong that justifies ending the marriage.[7] The party filling for the divorce must prove that the other party has done something to justify ending the union."  Those 2 sentences are nearly identical: combine into 1 sentence.
 * Money: "Another benefit of a fault divorce is the monetary gain." - This is critical, and needs to be elaborated upon.  In Community property states, the property division is always 50-50 regardless of fault vs no-fault.  But in non-Community property states, what is the $$ consequence of fault vs no-fault.  Does the aggrieved spouse get a windfall?
 * Section title: "Other/unusual grounds" - dont use slashes in titles (or in the prose body either).  Try "Other grounds".

End Noleander comments. --Noleander (talk) 04:35, 13 December 2011 (UTC)

Thanks so much for your comments thus far, Noleander; we'll be making these changes shortly. Ntj2 (talk) 17:41, 15 December 2011 (UTC)