Wikipedia:Peer review/HIV/archive2

HIV
This article was already the subject of a peer review and can be found here. It has undergone significant changes since then, and I resubmit it for peer review so that one day it may join AIDS as a featured article. --Bob 23:58, 21 June 2006 (UTC)


 * The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and may or may not be accurate for the article in question (due to possible javascript errors/uniqueness of articles).

*Per WP:CONTEXT and WP:MOSDATE, months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.

*Per WP:MOS, avoid using words/phrases that indicate time periods relative to the current day.

*Per WP:MOSNUM, there should be a non-breaking space -  between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 18mm, use 18 mm, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 18&amp;nbsp;mm.

*Per WP:MOSNUM, please spell out source units of measurements in text; for example, "the Moon is 380,000 kilometres (240,000 mi) from Earth.

*Per WP:MOS, headings generally do not start with the word "The". For example,  ==The Biography==  would be changed to  ==Biography== .

*Per WP:MOS, headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading  ==Magellan's journey== , use  ==Journey== .

*Please alphabetize the categories and interlanguage links.


 * article may need to undergo summary style, where a series of appropriate subpages are used. For example, if the article is United States, than an appropriate subpage would be History of the United States, such that a summary of the subpage exists on the mother article, while the subpage goes into more detail.

*There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view.

*As is done in WP:FOOTNOTE, for footnotes, the footnote should be located right after the punctuation mark, such that there is no space inbetween. For example, change blah blah [2]. to blah blah.[2]


 * Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that the it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 2a.
 * You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions (and the javascript checklist; see the last paragraph in the lead) for further ideas.
 * Thanks, Andy t 00:27, 22 June 2006 (UTC)


 * This is a couple of things I've noticed after quickly looking through the article. I'll read it in more detail later and perhaps add more comments. In general it looks like a very good effort. All my complaints are very minor.
 * 1) Is this repetition in the intro: "WHO estimate that AIDS has killed more than 25 million people" and two lines down "current estimates say that about 28 million people have died"?
 * 2) This sentence in the "Introduction" section is confusing: "This viral DNA is then integrated into the cellular DNA for replication using cellular machinery." It could be misread to mean that the DNA is integrated using cellular machinery.
 * 3) This sentence seems redundant: "CD4+ T cells are white blood cells that are required for a properly functioning immune system." In general that paragraph requires revision to reduce repetition.
 * 4) Genetic variability of HIV: subtypes of the M group are commonly referred to as clades, I think you should mention that.
 * Peter Z.Talk 00:29, 22 June 2006 (UTC)
 * 1) Fixed
 * 2) True, fixed.
 * 3) The whole paragraph, I thought, is redundant, removed.
 * 4) True, the term clade has been introduced.
 * Thanks --Bob 00:45, 22 June 2006 (UTC)


 * As Andy suggests, it can be improved by removing excessive links to solitary years. In this article, there is only one unnecessary date link to remove: '1983'. For those that want to address this issue for many articles, a monobook tool allows this to be done with one click on a 'dates' tab in edit mode. You can then accept or reject the changes offered and/or do more editing before pressing 'Save'. Simply copy the entire contents of User:Bobblewik/monobook.js to your own monobook. Then follow the instructions in your monobook to clear the cache (i.e. press Ctrl-Shift-R in Firefox, or Ctrl-F5 in IE) before it will work. bobblewik 17:25, 22 June 2006 (UTC)
 * Done --Bob 22:30, 22 June 2006 (UTC)


 * Thanks. You are doing great work. bobblewik 10:02, 23 June 2006 (UTC)


 * Great article! Congrat! I haven't found any faults (I have microbiology exam in two days...). Why are images so small? In my opinion, it can go to FAC. NCursework 07:46, 26 June 2006 (UTC)