Wikipedia:Peer review/HMS Pearl (1762)/archive1

HMS Pearl (1762)


I've listed this article for peer review because… I think it has potential for improvement. I created it 2017 and took to GA in 2018, after which I went on to other things. I am left wondering however, whether, with some work, it might be possible to get it to another level such as A class or FA. Pearl served in the American and French revolutionary wars and was present during some notable events. All feedback appreciated.

Thanks, Ykraps (talk) 07:14, 28 June 2020 (UTC)

Comments from Hog Farm
Sorry to see this has set around for so long, I'll take a look at it. Hog Farm Bacon 14:49, 3 August 2020 (UTC)

Lead
 * Needs a short description
 * Done - Copied from a similar article so hope it's okay.--Ykraps (talk) 05:26, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Is there an applicable link (s) for fifth-rate frigate?
 * Linked in the main body; now linked in the lead. Thanks.--Ykraps (talk) 05:26, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
 * River Delaware is a very odd construction. As an American, I've always seen Delaware River.  You also use Delaware River later.
 * Okay, don't mind doing that. Interestingly, British English doesn't care much and if anything, River (Thames) is probably more widely used than (Thames) River.--Ykraps (talk) 05:26, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Add Howe's rank
 * Done - Vice-admiral at the time. Or do you want C-in-C?--Ykraps (talk) 05:26, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
 * What nationality is Esperance from?
 * Done - French. Also added Santa Monica's nationality for good measure.--Ykraps (talk) 05:26, 4 August 2020 (UTC)

I'll get to the rest of the article later. Hog Farm Bacon 14:53, 3 August 2020 (UTC)

General comments Main body
 * Consider adding the ability to collapse the table, since it is so long.
 * Added.--Ykraps (talk) 17:42, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Notes 1 and 3 need citations, and note 4 needs citations in the manner of the rest of the article, rather than just slinging in author's name and page numbers.
 * Done.--Ykraps (talk) 17:42, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Link as many of the geographical features as possible.
 * I'll drop these in as I copyedit.--Ykraps (talk) 17:37, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Check to see if any of the cannons mention have any articles that can be mentioned
 * Only the 12-pounder long gun.--Ykraps (talk) 17:42, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
 * The prose and the infobox give different dates for when the ship was laid down.
 * Fixed.--Ykraps (talk) 05:45, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * " in April to fight the revolution and she was present" - Bizarre wording here, at least to me
 * Can you expand a bit here? Is it calling the war a revolution that you don't like?--Ykraps (talk) 05:45, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "he was forced to let them go" - I feel like the better pronoun should be it
 * Changed to obliged.--Ykraps (talk) 05:45, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Suggest when you convert nautical miles into kilometers, you also convert it into regular miles
 * Not sure that's possible with the templates. Also, I wondered whether it should be converted at all given that the nautical mile hasn't been a consistent length.--Ykraps (talk) 05:45, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * " enemy shipping. [5][27]" - Extraneous space in here
 * Removed.--Ykraps (talk) 12:11, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "She came up with the chase at 09:00 and engaged for an hour and a half before she struck" - You need to drop at least one of the pronouns, as it's not obvious who she is
 * Rewritten to make less ambiguous.--Ykraps (talk) 12:11, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Be more consistent with your naming of American ships. You use American, Continental, and rebel, at least.  I don't think rebel is a good word here.
 * Continental is used to denote a vessel of the Continental Navy which was supplemented by many privateers. American is used for privateers or when the distinction is not obvious. I have changed rebel for American. May I ask if that's a term you find offensive? You've mentioned it twice now.--Ykraps (talk) 12:11, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * It's just not a great encyclopedic term. MILHIST generally doesn't use rebel in contexts like that, unless it's vague rebel usages.  Rebel isn't even used in American Civil War GAs, generally.
 * Okay, no worries then.--Ykraps (talk) 17:37, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "left Boston on 3 November 1778 two days after Byron's " - Comma after 1778
 * Done.--Ykraps (talk) 12:11, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "On 10 December, William Hotham with a convoy of 5,000 troops, escorted by a small squadron comprising two 64-gun and three 50-gun ships of the line, a bomb vessel, and two frigates.[35] arrived at Barbados" - Remove the full stop after frigates
 * Removed.--Ykraps (talk) 12:11, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * You use both tons burthen and tons burden. Be consistent.  burden is probably better given the time frame this ship was active in
 * Done.--Ykraps (talk) 12:11, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Link dismasting, if there's an applicable article.
 * There is indeed. Who'd have thought.--Ykraps (talk) 12:11, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Link the ship class snow. I've only heard of a snow once before.
 * Done.--Ykraps (talk) 12:11, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "comprising 4 large ships at anchor" - MOS:NUMERAL
 * Done.--Ykraps (talk) 12:11, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * What's Ragusan
 * Of or pertaining to Ragusa. It's linked on the first mention (I think).--Ykraps (talk) 12:11, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "Porto Ferrajo remained in British hands until the end of the war however" - Not a good place to put however
 * Moved.--Ykraps (talk) 17:37, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
 * I feel like the rename warrants a mention in the lead and infobox.
 * Done.--Ykraps (talk) 17:37, 5 August 2020 (UTC)

Personally, I think this probably passes the comprehensiveness requirement of MILHIST ACR, although you probably have a better idea than me. Disclaimer - This was only a brief review. I only skimmed it. I'd flag a lot more in a more thorough review for A-Class or FA. Personally, I'd recommend sending this one through a copy edit. The prose is rather choppy, and prose expectations are much higher at ACR and FAC than at GA. Hog Farm Bacon 01:30, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
 * I was beginning to think that I might have to close this without receiving any feedback so thanks very much for taking a look, even a brief one. I will answer all your points in due course. Best regards--Ykraps (talk) 05:15, 4 August 2020 (UTC)

Thanks for looking at this, your input has been valuable.--Ykraps (talk) 17:37, 5 August 2020 (UTC)