Wikipedia:Peer review/Halo: Combat Evolved/archive1

Halo: Combat Evolved
A famous video game with a rather lengthy article, however it might need some improvement to get to featured article status.--Zxcvbnm 22:39, 15 March 2006 (UTC)
 * The length itself is not problematic. Most featured articles seem to be 25-50KB. Several points that I see, though:
 * Lead section. Per WP:LEAD, the lead section is rather short for an article of this length. I suggest moving some information from the Introduction section up there. The lead should summarize the key points of the entire article.
 * Style. A good style edit is needed. I went through and made some changes, but you should avoid using "you" in an encyclopedia article. Instead, use "the player" or "Master Chief" as appropriate. Speaking of, I see both "Master Chief" and "the Master Chief". Choose one and stick with it. The spelled-out versions of abbreviations and acronyms go before the shortened versions. Don't wikilink to the same thing over and over; once is enough. Make sure that your verb tense is consistent.
 * Citations. Three inline citations will not be enough for FA status. Several major assertions go uncited, including (but not limited to):
 * "Halo is widely considered to be one of the best first-person shooter games ever, rivaling such classics as GoldenEye 007 and Half-Life. Only its sequel, Halo 2, has sold more units for the Xbox video game console."
 * "It was the first game to combine features such as recharging shields and a limited inventory of weapons, and has been widely imitated since the game's release."
 * "Although Halo has a well-regarded campaign (single player) mode, it is most popular for its multiplayer function. See the multiplayer section below."
 * "Many FPS games (on various platforms) following in the wake of Halo's initial release have been, whether erroneously or not, hailed as "Halo-killers", so great has the impact been not only on the Xbox community but the gaming community as a whole. As such it is regarded as a benchmark in FPS games, something to be looked up to and, if possible, equal or better it."
 * "Corpse humping... was discovered circa 2001..."
 * "The popularity of this trick would take many by surprise. It has become such a pastime that it has spawned an "extreme sport" of some kind, called 'launching.'"
 * "It was also originally planned as a real-time strategy game with the twist that you could control the character manually instead of clicking on the character and then clicking where they would go."
 * Structure. Remember that this article needs to be accessible to people who know nothing about Halo going in. I would condense the Gameplay section (or possibly move it to an auxiliary/daughter article and summarize the main points here), and move the storyline section before the gameplay. Make sure to put an endspoiler tag when the spoilers do end, so that people who heed spoiler will know when it's safe to continue reading. I would also provide short summaries of the Characters and Back story sections, instead of just a bare "Main article" link.
 * Content. More information about the game's development and design decisions would be great if you can find that information,. Going along with my previous point about citations, concrete examples of how Halo has been influential on subsequent games would be good. Be careful not to go off on tangents (e.g., the fact that Randall Glass plays Vic is Red vs Blue is probably not too relevant). A section on machinima might be good (especially if you can explain why the creators of that machinima used Halo (e.g., were they attracted to its physics engine, etc.); this would futrher show the influence of Halo). Again, keep in mind that Wikipedia is not a game guide, so discussing gameplay should only be part of the total equation. I think that you have the right idea by touching on what features made Halo innovative/influential; you just need citations to show that and to remember that a featured article needs to keep the level of detail appropriate.
 * — TKD::Talk 01:27, 16 March 2006 (UTC)
 * The most immediately evident thing is the lack of reality-based information. There is no mention I can see of its massive public and critical success. Also, the lead (rather unencyclopedically) says "Nevertheless, Halo has its criticisms; some have labeled its game play as repetitive, an element Bungie themselves acknowledge as a fault of some of the later levels." with no critcism section. The gameplay section needs toning down, maybe even a split-off, while everything else needs expansion. Staxringold 09:54, 17 March 2006 (UTC)