Wikipedia:Peer review/Halo (series)/archive2

Halo (series)

 * Previous peer review
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.

This peer review is now closed. Thanks for the comments, Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs ( talk  ) 15:46, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

The Halo WP would like this article to become a FA. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!  Black  ngold29   18:45, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments by : — Wackymacs ( talk  ~  edits ) 08:44, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Looking good, but not quite there just yet.
 * This article is slightly overlinked. Keep links to a minimum. Some words you should not be linking: "novels", "grenades", "soundtracks", "Seattle, Washington". There are other examples, but you generally should not link words for things that are obvious. People know what novels are, and what grenades are. And Seattle is one of the best-known cities in the world.
 * The lead fails to mention when each game of the series was released, quite a major fact.
 * Section 4.1 makes it sound like the original Halo was only for the Xbox, while it was actually also on Windows and the Mac too.
 * Ref 18, dead link: http://www.edge-online.com/archives/2007/08/edge_179.php
 * Ref 20, no page number?
 * Ref 36, http://www.gamestop.com/Catalog/ProductDetails.aspx?product_id=67109 is 1) a commercial website and 2) I don't see where it mentions October 1, 2008. and 3) Why is the access date October 1, 2008?
 * What makes http://rvb.roosterteeth.com/forum/viewTopic.php?id=2205248 a reliable source?
 * Likewise, what makes http://kotaku.com/gaming/gossip/halo-going-portable-028928.php reliable?
 * And http://www.joystiq.com/2006/05/05/gizmondo-halo-project-used-cam-mouselook/?
 * Ref 78 is formatted as a web page, but its actually citing a book. Add author name, ISBN, page number, publisher info.
 * Ref 73 http://www.wizkidsgames.com/halo/ is not a suitable reference for "The tabletop game features detailed sculpts of characters with dials that track a unit's health and statistics.".
 * According to the link checker tool, a couple of the cited web pages have moved domain, so you need to update some URLs.
 * Ref 25 is an unsuitable reference for "Also, Bungie has kept a counter on their website's homepage which X-Play revealed to be a countdown to the announcement of the new game.", because Bungie's homepage no longer has the countdown, and homepage content changes frequently.
 * "The main trilogy, particularly its protagonist, have been declared iconic and a symbol of today's videogames; a wax replica of the Master Chief was made by Madame Tussauds in Las Vegas, where Pete Wentz compared the character to notable characters from previous generations like Spider-Man, Frodo, and Luke Skywalker." at start of 'Cultural Impact' section needs a third party source, not a Microsoft source. Otherwise, its basically a POV. It's fine for Microsoft to say its a symbol and its iconic, they published it, but it doesn't mean its true!
 * I haven't checked the prose and images, just the references.
 * Hope my comments are useful. If you need further comments, let me know.

Comments from
 * You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
 * Same concerns that I had at the previous FAC about tiedtheleader.com, kikizo, and gamecritics
 * Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 13:48, 20 July 2008 (UTC)