Wikipedia:Peer review/Harris Theater (Chicago, Illinois)/archive1

Harris Theater (Chicago, Illinois)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I want to prepare it for an WP:FAC nomination next month.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:15, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:15, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Seems to have all or nearly all of the information needed, but I have issues with the organization of the article and the language is rough in places and could use a copyedit. I am working on an article with Dincher, but could copyedit this after that is ready for PR. Here are some suggestions for improvement (by the way, a lot of this seems oddly familiar ;-) ) Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch  &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 15:44, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
 * General comment - at this point, there seems to be a standard model to follow for Millennium Park articles, and most of my concerns with organization arise from this not following that model (although each feature of the park is unique and each article will be too). My feeling is that the Jay Pritzker Pavilion article is the closest to a model article for this theater that can be found. Both are performing arts venues in the same park, they even share backstage facilities and were both affected by the Montgomery Ward height restrictions.
 * The lead sentence needs some work - the uninterrupted string of bold names at the beginning is a bit overwhelming and linking USA seems a bit much - how about something like
 * The Joan W. and Irving B. Harris Theater for Music and Dance (also known as the Harris Theater for Music and Dance, the Harris & Harris Theater or, most commonly, the Harris Theater) is a 1525-seat theater for the performing arts located along the northern edge of Millennium Park on Randolph Street in the Loop community area of Chicago in Cook County, Illinois, USA.
 * O.K. I think you only wanted me to remove the USA link and leave most of the rest.  Correct me if I am wrong.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 23:49, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes, sorry to be unclear. Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 14:52, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Since we are told the Harrises names in the first sentence, refering to them elsewhere as Mr and Mrs Harris is a bit odd. It also does not follow the Pritzker model (which uses Jay and Cindy Pritzker, not Mr and Mrs Pritzker) and I think the MOS says to use full names if at all possible.
 * Didn't we establish the names by starting the first sentence with "The Joan W. and Irving B. Harris. . ."--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 23:52, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Please see WP:SURNAME on the use of Mr. and Mrs. (avoid the ampersand in Mr & Mrs in any case). I would either refer to them as "Joan and Irving Harris" or perhaps as "the Harrises". Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 14:52, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I have made some adjustments.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 17:18, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * This is just one example of why this needs a copyedit Among the regularly featured local small small- and medium-sized groups are ... - also needs to be consistent, some places talk about small- and medium-sized groups, others just medium-sized groups.
 * Not sure what is going on but when I searched for "medium" on this page and there was no problem.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:32, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The point for the copyedit was that small is needlessly repeated in that specific sentence ("small small-"). Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 14:52, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 16:00, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * My biggest problem reading this is that the story is jumbled - again if this were to follow the Pritzker Pavilion model the article would start with the need for the theater, the architect and funding, and the construction details and cost. This information is mostly there, but in a variety of places and not in chronological order.
 * I think I have rectified this.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:03, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Obviously no model is perfect - the height restrictions can be covered in the section on background, design and construction (no need for a separate Controversies section). There does not seem to be enough here to have a separate Construction section, but those details in Specifications might fit better earlier in the article (like they are in the Construction section for the Pavilion article).
 * Done.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:07, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Seems underlinked in places - flyspace and fado could be linked, for example
 * Specific examples cited.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:02, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The images are interesting but some of the captions do very little to help the reader understand what is being shown - for example in the Critical review section there are three images which need better captions - for example File:Harris_Theater_inside.jpg seems to be of the upper lobby and should be identified more clearly.
 * Revised.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:17, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * More examples of things I would move - take the prize the Theater won in 2005 and move it to Critical review with the prize Joan Irving won (perhaps call this section Reception instead)
 * Done.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:01, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Move the sentences on how the Music of the Baroque group was involved in planning section up to the design / construction part (whatever it winds up being called) (these need a copyedit too).
 * Moved.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:23, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Make sure spelling is consistent - usually "theater" but sometimes "theatre"
 * Remaining uses are proper nouns.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 13:25, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I am not sure a Twitter page meets the WP:EL criteria - assume it is linked from the main Theater website anyway
 * I am not sure how to interpret policy related to this either. I think someone at FAC will have a stronger understanding and give us better advice.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:26, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Not sure if there is more information on this, but I was unclear on what body governs the running of the theater - can a bit more on the board or group be added? I was focusing on other things, so I may have missed it
 * I have replied above - while it looks better on a quick read, I still think it would benefit from a copyedit and could do one in the next 2 weeks or so, if you want. Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 14:52, 27 April 2010 (UTC)