Wikipedia:Peer review/Herbert Charles Wilson/archive1

Herbert Charles Wilson
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I intend to nom this for FA sometime in the near future. A concern was raised regarding the length - while it can be improved, (I'll keep looking), I believe it's adequately comprehensive as it is, and I'd just like some general comments on how it is, and if it even has the chance to make FA.

Thanks, Connormah 17:16, 28 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Comments by Jappalang

Politics
 * Best to explain a bit of the Speech instead of asking readers to jump to another biography to find out.

Post-territorial politics
 * "... due to a dispute over town funds ..."
 * What was the dispute about and what form it took such that he resigned and made that statement?

Personal life
 * "Charles Wilson Jr served in the 49th Battalion, and was killed in action at the Battle of Sanctuary Wood in 1916."
 * Is the battle actually named that? Sanctuary Wood Commonwealth War Graves Commission Cemetery states the Battle of Mount Sorrel.  Jappalang (talk) 03:57, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

Images
 * File:Herbert Charles Wilson - full.jpg
 * Was it really published (i.e. printed in copies that were distributed to the public)? City of Edmonton Archives states only "Creation date: 1895", part of the "Northern Alberta Pioneers and Old Timers' Association fonds".
 * It's from the City Archives website, but linking never works, it always turns up as a dead link. Connormah (talk) 02:30, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Um, I may have not been clear. I question its publication because there is a tag on the image page that claims it to be public domain in US (usually because the image was published before 1923).  The Archives does not state it to be so; it only states the date as that of creation.  As images stored on Commons need to be public domain in the US (aside from being public domain in its country of origin), what qualifies this image of that status in the US?
 * Will look into it. Connormah (talk) 13:05, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
 * File:Herbert C Wilson.jpg
 * I believe its origin from a collage would indicate publication (since such collages were typically found in a book like this); however, this might not stand up to scrutiny at FAC. Best to find the exact publication.

The article gives an overview of the man, but I feel like I was left out of what he exactly did. It is a bare-bones account of his political career: he helped convey a petition, he delivered a reply, he revised laws. What did he do, specifically (what sort of revision, any bill or policy he personally shape or create, etc)? Did he as a politician have any influence? Jappalang (talk) 02:23, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

Brianboulton comments: I haven't had time for a detailed look at the prose, but here are a few points for attention. I apologise if these have been covered by earlier reviewers:-
 * The infobox is rather large and dominating for a fairly short article. It seems that the information relating to Wilson's political offices, which is given in full at the end of the article, could be very briefly summarised in the infobox, thus reducing the box to a size more consistent with a shortish article.
 * I have re-sited the Speaker portrait into the appropriate section, and have reduced its size via upright. It still spills over to the following section, but that is unavoidable unless the text is extended.
 * I have also resized and resited the older Wilson portrait at the end of the article, so that it now displaces only one section heading rather than two.
 * Ninety per cent of the citations are to one source, which is a problem. I can see the difficulty; provincial Speakers don't attract full-length biographies or get much attention from historians. However, I wonder if there are local sources, e.g. newspapers, provincial histories, etc, that could be drawn on?
 * The citation of Wilson's birth year in the first line would be better placed in the Early life section
 * You need to be consistent about the use of "Speaker" and "speaker". Both are used interchangeably at present.
 * Although, as I say, I haven't gone through the prose, I did notice this sentence in the lead: "The son of a manufacturer, Wilson's family had extensive business interests in the area of Picton, Ontario." This is ungrammatical and needs rephrasing. A possible version would be "His father was a manufacturer, and the family..." etc. Also, I imagine that "Territorial Council" should be fully capitalised. A thorough copyedit of the entire article is recommended. I also find myself in agreement with Jappalang's comment about the article's paucity of detail, and feel that it needs some expansion before a shot at FAC is viable.

Brianboulton (talk) 18:33, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks, I'll look into these. Connormah (talk) 01:50, 7 September 2010 (UTC)