Wikipedia:Peer review/Horizontal mobility/archive1

Horizontal mobility


I've listed this article for peer review because… The article can be a GA candidate, it needs a grammar check. Thanks, 𝗩𝗶𝗸𝗶𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗿 ℣ 02:34, 5 October 2021 (UTC)

Comments by Zetana
Hello, just checking that you want to get this article to GA status? Currently I see a number of content & structural issues I think should be resolved first before any prose work is done. Let me know if you want a more detailed breakdown of what I think should be included to ensure the article's comprehensiveness. Zetana (talk) 18:24, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
 * Hi, @Zetana Thank you very much for your interest, I think I need your leading with this, could you please help me with the structural arrangements, or could you do it for me? 𝗩𝗶𝗸𝗶𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗿 ℣ 23:17, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
 * Yes, of course, I am a little busy right now but I can provide more detailed feedback this weekend when I have more time. Zetana (talk) 05:22, 7 October 2021 (UTC)
 * @Zetana 𝗩𝗶𝗸𝗶𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗿 ℣ 22:24, 8 October 2021 (UTC)

Okay, here's some initial comments to start off. Just a quick note: the two sentences in the lede say very similar things, and basically duplicate a lot of the same content, which was confusing to me at first read. I think you should either merge the sentences, or remove one of them. Personally, I think it would be best if you kept the first sentence (as it is a more general summary-style statement) in the lede, and moved the second sentence down to "Definition" (as it is a more detailed explanation). Here's some structural feedback, I think these are some of the important issues which should be addressed first. They all overlap a bit but I've numbered them so it's a bit easier to read, take them as open-ended questions to think about. Zetana (talk) 04:57, 10 October 2021 (UTC) Let me know if any of these are not straightforward, I'll try to explain further to clear up any confusion. Zetana (talk) 04:57, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
 * 1) What makes Sorokin, Lind, Anderson, etc. worthy of mention? Why name these scholars in particular? Are they integral to developing the idea of horizontal mobility? If they are, it should be indicated in the article.
 * 2) The "Timeline" section has some information about horizontal mobility, but it's not clear how to place that within a 'timeline' because there's no dates listed. (I think the section would probably also be more appropriately named "History" if you intend this section to be a historical overview of HM). Here's a non-exhaustive list of questions that crossed my mind while reading: What's the history of HM as a concept? When was it developed? How? By whom? Was it developed in response to other social theories? I think a comprehensive History/Timeline section should be able to answer these kinds of questions.
 * 3) How should a reader contextualize horizontal mobility within sociology? As a reader who doesn't know anything about the concept, I find myself unable to properly understand what horizontal mobility is in relation to other sociological theories, concepts, and frameworks. What kinds of theories use HM significantly? How do HM and HM-related theories compare against other complementary/opposing theories of social mobility? Who are its general proponents and detractors? Fully developing that context should also help indicate the general importance (or unimportance) of HM in sociology. You provide an example of conflict theory which uses HM, so basically I'm asking for more of that, and in such a way that it summarizes the more common strains of thought in sociology.
 * 4) There are a couple of case studies in the "Metrology" section. Why these case studies in particular? What makes them unique or important enough to include in the article, as opposed to other case studies? Are there specific aspects of the examples which help illustrate the different dimensions of HM? If so, they should be explained in the article to aid the reader's comprehension.

are you finished with this round of comments? If so, can you ping Zetana? If not, can you close this PR, and reopen it when you are ready for more comments? Thanks. Z1720 (talk) 14:47, 3 November 2021 (UTC)

Closing note: I am closing this PR due to inactivity. An editor can open a new PR for this article when the above concerns have been addressed. Z1720 (talk) 21:06, 23 November 2021 (UTC)