Wikipedia:Peer review/Howard Hughes/archive1

Howard Hughes
This biography has potential for being a Featured Article candidate. I am looking for input on how to make improvements to it before nominating it. During the run of the movie The Aviator it was the subject of frequent vandalism and experimentation, but it has settled back down now. Any help appreciated. Cheers, -Willmcw 04:55, May 3, 2005 (UTC)
 * Two things that seem to come up repeated during peer review :), the lead should be expanded to summarise the article and the materials that have been used as references should be clearly identified in a reference section. Here are a few other suggestions. Highes' seemed to be quite important in taking over from the mafia and making Vegas more of a family place- so I think this aspect could be expanded on, so could his relationship with Nixon and politics in general. The giant list of lovers should be written as prose and included in the main text, perhaps grouped by time of the affair eg. in the 70s Hughes slept with A,B and C.
 * Good points. I think the listing of books supplanted the reference section, but the article should have both. I'll work on the intro, and will make the lover-list into straight prose. I'll check into the Nixon connection, though I'm not sure how much more there is. You're right about his role in supplanting the Vegas mob - that seems underplayed. Thanks for your input. -Willmcw 05:57, May 3, 2005 (UTC)
 * Its not just Nixon, he seems to have made contributions all over the place, as this quote from aide and biographer Noah Dietrich suggests, "During the late 1940s and through the 1950s Howard's political contributions ran between $100,000 and $400,000 per year," says Dietrich. Among the recipients were "councilmen and supervisors, tax assessors, sheriffs, D.A.'s, governors, Congressmen, Senators, judges, Vice-Presidents and Presidents."--nixie 08:18, 3 May 2005 (UTC)
 * Now that's some good material worth getting into. Cheers, -Willmcw 08:19, May 3, 2005 (UTC)
 * Just glanced over it. In general I think quite good!  One suggestion:  Check the article for American/British language.  In the intro it uses "behaviour"... considering that Hughes is American, I'd think the article should use American English (in fact, I'll do that myself right now).  Also, as an avowed Katharine Hepburn fan, perhaps more should be mentioned about his romance with her.  At one point they were engaged to be married and were rather serious about it; when she turned him down he was pretty devastated.  Doesn't need to be much, but perhaps it should rate more than her name in a laundry list.  Just an idea, I know nothing about his relationship with the rest of them -- for all I know he could've proposed to them all, in which case the current treatment is appropriate!  (Rake!)  &middot; Katefan0(scribble) 21:56, May 16, 2005 (UTC)
 * Just did some cleanup of bits and pieces. One suggestion:  Hughes Aircraft Company is never properly intro'ed; just blithely mentioned at some point.  Some info on its founding might be useful, year circumstances etc. &middot; Katefan0(scribble) 22:15, May 16, 2005 (UTC)

An impressive article. Here are some minor points:
 * What are the "various sources" that cite his two possible birthplaces?
 * What were the moral standards disregarded by Hughes' movies?
 * The ==Hughes: Postwar== section feels too staccato for my taste.
 * ==Hughes: The recluse== Wiki links tp peas, nipples, barber, urine, and toilet seem excessive. Likewise, bananan the next section.
 * --Theo (Talk) 21:32, 28 May 2005 (UTC)