Wikipedia:Peer review/Hurricane Cora (1978)/archive1

Hurricane Cora (1978)

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because while it's been upgraded to GA, I personally want to know what the article needs for an A-Class listing (if one can be given alongside the GA badge), and, if by some chance it'd last, an FAC run. While I'm only just contemplating FAC, I really want to know what it needs for A first, as I'm aiming one step at a time. I especially want the prose and wording looked into.

Thanks, Hurricane Angel Saki (talk) 07:30, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Looks decent. At a first glance, I'd love to see more met. history, such as why it maintained such a westerly track at such a low latitude. Actually, I realize you might hate me for this, as it might jeopardize it staying at GA status, but the NHC actually has a whole archive of info on it, namely discussions but also some other fun things to fill out the article. Here is the link. I suggest you trawl through all of that before considering FA status. I was impressed with how much you got for the "Impact, Records, and Naming" section. Keep it up. ♬♩ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 13:28, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is interesting, especially because of the material about the balloon and the swim. I see quite a few prose and Manual of Style problems in the text that would certainly prevent the article from FA consideration, and I agree with Hurricane Hink that the content is thin. Even if you only aim for A status, it would be good to make the article as close to comprehensive as possible and to polish the prose and adhere to the Manual of Style as closely as you can. I did not analyze every sentence in the article, but here is a representative list of things that I noticed.

Lead


 * WP:MOS says that dates such as August 7 in the lead are not normally wikilinked. Suggestion: Unlink all of the linked month-day dates and plain months such as August further down in the lead and throughout the main text sections.

Meteorological history
 * "In early August, a disturbance was observed in satellite images moving off the coast of Africa on August 4." - How about "On August 4, satellite images showed a disturbance moving off the coast of Africa." This would change the sentence to active voice and eliminate the repetition of "August".


 * "a forward speed of roughly 20 mph (32 km/h)" - MOS:CONVERSIONS recommends spelling out the main units and abbreviating the secondary units in the imperial–metric conversions. I find the convert template handy for doing the conversions because it not only does the math but inserts the correct spellings and abbreviations. Here's what this conversion looks like using the template: 20 mph. Further down in this section, the 980 millibars can be converted to inches of mercury like this: 980 mbar. You can force the rounding in this template by adding another parameter with the desired degree of rounding; e.g. |1 or |2. You can force a hyphen with |adj=on. Suggestion: Use the template to make all of the conversions consistent throughout the article.


 * "Moving westward along the Intertropical Convergence Zone " - Terms like this one that you later plan to abbreviate are usually given in the form Intertropical Convergence Zone (ITCZ) on the first use of the term. After that ITCZ is fine.


 * "The hurricane would continue in this direction throughout its lifespan." - It would be better to stick to straight past tense for this event in the past; i.e. "The hurricane continued in this direction throughout its lifespan."


 * "After becoming disorganized, a Hurricane Hunter aircraft... " - The aircraft wasn't disorganized.


 * "The dissipating storm continued on, striking the island... " - Suggestion: "The dissipating storm struck the island... "

Impact, Records, and Naming
 * Suggestion: "Impact, records, and naming" per MOS:HEAD.


 * "While passing through the Lesser Antilles, reports of squalls... " - The reports weren't passing through the Lesser Antilles.

I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 20:32, 11 June 2009 (UTC)