Wikipedia:Peer review/Hurricane Dean/archive1

Hurricane Dean

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I am not sure where to go with it. It is a huge article, but much information has already been split off into sub-pages. I think it will ultimately be a 100k+ article, but that's okay. It's just hard for me to get a handle on which sections need improvement. Some style comments are welcome, but I would rather focus on the arrangement/expansion of the article's content and come back to style issues in a few weeks when the information is in place.

Thanks,  Plasticup  T / C  15:53, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 05:19, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Article needs a copyedit to polish the prose - just in the lead is this Remarkably, none of the deaths were the result of Hurricane Dean's exceptionally unusually Category 5-strength landfall. Remarkably seems a bit POV and "exceptionally unusually" is just not grammatical and POV / possible peacock language - see WP:PEACOCK
 * The lead is a bit sparse for such a long and detailed article, especially the thrid paragraph, which is only two sentences. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way - Please see WP:LEAD
 * The article may need fewer sections / header too (Does one sentence on Diverted Cruie Lines really deserve a section?). I owuld also try to avoid one or two sentence paragrpahs.
 * A reference only needs to be used once per sentence and can be used once per several sentences or per paragraph if a direct quote is not involved, so Tourists were forbidden from entering the island[69] and extra flights were added to evacuate those that were already there.[65][69] sould just have ref 69 at the end. Also refs 111 and 112 are just links now and need more information (publisher, access date, etc.)
 * Per WP:MOS, images should be set to thumb width to allow reader preferences to take over. For portrait format images, "vertical" can be used to make the image narrower.
 * I am not a storm person - seems very complete to me, not sure how else to organize it but there are many hurricane FAs that would make good models.