Wikipedia:Peer review/Hurricane Heather/archive1

Hurricane Heather


I've listed this article for peer review because it's the first article I wrote mostly fully, and I would like suggestions on how to improve it.

Thanks, Skarmory   (talk •   contribs)  00:57, 10 January 2021 (UTC)

"The then-governor of Arizona" has a clunky link, and it rolls off the tongue very poorly. It could be changed, but it doesn't have to be. Also, "Nogales" might be over-linked. Hope this helped, @!
 * Lede
 * 1st sentence: describe what the storm is, not what it caused.
 * Changed it to "was one of the worst tropical cyclones to affect Arizona on record", hopefully good now? Skarmory   (talk •   contribs)  19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)
 * "eighth named storm" is confusing language.
 * This is what I see in most tropical cyclone articles. I can change it if it helps a lot, however. Skarmory   (talk •   contribs)  19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)
 * "inactive" season? is that necessary?
 * I see this in a bunch of other tropical cyclone articles again, but it does feel less necessary, so I've removed it. Skarmory   (talk •   contribs)  19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)
 * "Heather became a hurricane" -> "the Tropical storm was again upgraded to a hurricane" or something like that. "Heather became a hurricane" sounds goofy.
 * Changed to "Heather strengthened into a hurricane". Skarmory   (talk •   contribs)  19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Meteorological history looks good, but it does retread some stuff that was already in the lede.
 * Effects
 * Changed wording to "The governor of Arizona at the time". Skarmory   (talk •   contribs)  19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Removed the link in the met history section, along with a couple other things which were overlinked. Skarmory   (talk •   contribs)  19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)

777burger user talk contribs  17:41, 6 February 2021 (UTC)


 * I'll get to this when I can, haven't had time during the day today, sorry. Skarmory   (talk •   contribs)  23:56, 6 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Alright, thanks for the review! It did help! Skarmory   (talk •   contribs)  19:35, 7 February 2021 (UTC)