Wikipedia:Peer review/Ice-minus bacteria/archive1

Ice-minus bacteria
I am looking for advice on how to make the article better.Amkered 23:15, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

User:IvoShandor
At a glance:


 * Lose the list (convert to prose)
 * Add inline citations for anything likely to be challenged or otherwise in need of citation, assertions of fact, conclusions etc.
 * I really don't think the intro provides enough context, (I remember thinking that when I saw it on DYK too).
 * Expansion: So how does this all work? How does it "win out"?
 * Further, how does a farmer introduce it to their crop?
 * Wouldn't historical perspective be better as just "History"?
 * Talk about its use more. When? Where? How often? Why or why not?
 * When all is said and done lead should conform to WP:LEAD.
 * An actual image of the bacteria would be wonderful for the upper right hand corner of the page.
 * Watch for tense agreement as here: found that when this particular bacterium was introduced to plants where it is originally absent
 * Talk more about the differences between the minus and plus.
 * Are there any applicable WikiProjects? They might have guidelines regarding what to include and what not to.

Hope that helps. Happy editing and good luck with a most interesting entry. IvoShandor 09:40, 26 March 2007 (UTC)

User:Scientizzle
I followed over from WikiProject Molecular and Cellular Biology/Help. Here's a few comments:


 * Inline citations = good thing. Footnotes can help.
 * The opening is too jargon-y and doesn't indicate the underlying importance of the strain (that it provides some frost resistance). In fact, the clear link to frost resistance doesn't occur until the "Economic importance" section--far too late.
 * Wikipedia isn't a how-to guide, so there's no need to explain the production of the strain.
 * Has it been used beyond any government field tests?
 * The gypsy moth stuff is too tangental. A link to introduced species or something would prove more effective. &mdash; Scientizzle 23:01, 30 March 2007 (UTC)