Wikipedia:Peer review/Independiente (Ricardo Arjona album)/archive1

Independiente (Ricardo Arjona album)
This peer review discussion has been closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because i want to get it to GA. An editor reviewed the article and i fixed all that needed to be fixed. He told me to request a peer review.

Thanks, Hahc21 (talk) 17:26, 9 May 2012 (UTC)

Comments
 * "Recorded between the United States and Mexico" (1) no need to link common geographical terms and (2) I'd say it was recorded "in the United States and Mexico".
 * Fixed.


 * "It is his first album not ..." Reinforce the subject, so "It is Arjona's..."
 * Fixed.


 * "within the period of one year" -> "within a year".
 * Fixed.


 * "it debuted atop the " just reads a little odd to me, would prefer "debuted on top of the " or " at the top of..."
 * Fixed.


 * Avoid relinking e.g. United States in the lead, but also per above, don't link common geographical terms.
 * Fixed.


 * "became a commercial hit" hit->success.
 * Fixed.


 * "the singer embarked " new para so "Arjona embarked..."
 * Fixed.


 * I don't agree that there's a fair use for the record company logo here. We don't need "help the reader identify the organization, assure the readers that they have reached the right article containing critical commentary about the organization, and illustrate the organization's intended branding message in a way that words alone could not convey" in an article about an album.  Perhaps in an article about the record company itself, but not this album.
 * Lets keep the image till i finish in my sandbox the label's article.. To avoid it being deleted as an orphan.
 * I've created the article; the image has been moved to thr label's article. I added a template into the section. -- Hahc21  [ TALK ] [ CONTRIBS  ] 04:36, 8 June 2012 (UTC)


 * "is the first album Arjona releases as an independent " released.
 * Fixed.


 * "releases as an independent artist. It was released through " repetitive use of "release".
 * Fixed.


 * "company he created to refocus his career.[4] This new company," repetitive use of "company".
 * Fixed.


 * "presided by Arjona " normally I think people "preside over" something.
 * Fixed.


 * "is based in Miami and Mexico City[5], " move the ref behind the comma, and unlink the common linked terms.
 * Fixed.


 * "Although, the album is being distributed by Warner Music.[7] " ... this seems incomplete to me... although what?
 * Fixed.


 * "Arjona commented, in multiple times," poor grammar, "Arjona commented many times..."
 * Fixed.


 * "release of Independiente, the Guatemalan singer released " again, repetitive prose.
 * Fixed.


 * "record label by exchange" I don't really understand what this means.
 * Fixed.


 * References that are not in English should use the  parameter in the citation template.
 * Fixed.


 * "and it marks the " no need for "it".
 * Fixed.


 * "offering backing vocals where needed" just "providing backing vocals" would suffice.
 * Fixed.


 * "it marks the fourth time Arjona had collaborated with Tommy Torres" vs "marks Arjona's third collaboration " vs "The other two albums "... how many exactly?
 * Fixed. There were some confusions wether hoy many albums they've worked together, but now its clear, 4. Nobody modified the info as of now. Thanks.


 * "the artist decided to make use of the lowest number of instruments as possible" Arjone made use of the fewest instruments possible.
 * Fixed.


 * "simplifying his sound at the most" what does "at the most" mean here?
 * Fixed.


 * "on a music basis" surely this is redundant? If not, then "musical" instead of music.
 * Fixed.


 * Again, no need to link United States.
 * Fixed.


 * "with guatemalan singer " capital G.
 * Fixed.


 * "mom in a Mother's Day" should that translated as "on" rather than "in"?
 * Fixed.


 * "becomes a President" no need to link or capitalise.
 * Fixed.


 * (will come back to prose if these are all addressed).
 * Personnel section should use spaced en-dashes instead of spaced hyphens per WP:DASH.
 * Fixed.


 * Certification column doesn't sort correctly (should go from most to least or vice versa).
 * Fixed.


 * Why is Yearly charts not sortable when other two tables are?
 * Fixed.


 * Please ensure tables meet MOS:DTT for WP:ACCESS so screen-readers can make best use of them.
 * Fixed.

The Rambling Man (talk) 11:47, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
 * Retrieved by dates should either be yyyy-mm-dd or Day Month Year or Month Day, Year. Not dd-mm-yyyy.


 * Ok. What's next. Still working on some 3 recommendations, but the rest has been addressed. . -- Hahc21 [ TALK ] [ CONTRIBS  ] 17:05, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
 * Well hopefully you'll get comments from others. The Rambling Man (talk) 17:08, 6 June 2012 (UTC)