Wikipedia:Peer review/Indonesian Christian Student Movement/archive1

Indonesian Christian Student Movement
I've listed this article for peer review because I am planning to take it to WP:GAC. This article would be my third GAC attempt. Feel free to construct and edit the article.

Thanks, Jeromi Mikhael (talk) 05:02, 2 July 2019 (UTC)

Comments from Dhio270599 Hi, fellow +62 here. I'll probably give remarks on grammar and writing style: Dhio-270599 17:07, 4 August 2019 (UTC)
 * "as the merger of the Christelijke Studenten Vereniging op Java, which is the organizations for Christian students in Java" --> the Vereniging is a single organization (as I've understood), thus making the erasing of the -s suffix behind "organization" necessary.
 * Organization names: Cipayung Group; Pancasila Front; World Student Christian Federation; Dutch Army: deserve their own wikilinks
 * Names like CL van Doorn, OE Engelen, JR Mott, and others deserve their own wikilinks
 * there should be explicit explanations for abbreviations like GMKI and NCSV on the text. Perhaps, like, "(Indonesian: Gerakan Mahasiswa Kristen Indonesia, abbreviated as GMKI)" and "was inspired by the Dutch Christian Student Association (Dutch: Nederlandse Christen Studenten Vereniging, abbreviated as NCSV)"
 * "which at that time still studying" --> "which at that time is still studying"
 * Nations (e.g. Indonesia), nationalities (e.g. Dutch), cities like Bandung, Bogor, Surabaya, and Jogjakarta, and other administrative places, such as Kebon Sirih, deserve their own wikilinks
 * "to held" --> "to hold" (to-Verb 1)
 * "highly nationalistic to Indonesia" ---> "highly nationalistic to Indonesia " (reducing redundancy)
 * "During this time, many people misinterpreted GMKI"
 * Ideologies, e.g. socialism, deserve their own wikilinks
 * Major historical events, like the G30S, deserve their own wikilinks