Wikipedia:Peer review/International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights/archive1

International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I've developed it a bit, and I need to know where to go next. What needs to be added? is there enough detail? Any suggestions?

Thanks, IdiotSavant (talk) 11:13, 5 April 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article on a treaty I knew nothing about before reading this. Presumably the next place to go would be to try for {{WP:GA]] so I will review with that in mind. Here are some suggestions for improvement - the semi-automated peer review (SAPR) above also has some useful ideas: Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; {{sup| &deg; }} 19:19, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Lead needs to be longer and summarize the whole article per WP:LEAD
 * Genesis section is interesting but needs refs for the end (last few sentences)
 * Since you are looking for expansion ideas, how about the history of the development? Who drafted it? Which provisions didn't make it into the final treaty? There is some already on different country's reservations and the US position, but not much on how they got from the idea to the treaty. Also could add more on other signatory countries that have not yet ratifief (South Africa, Pakistan from the map - others?)
 * Although it should be painfully obvious, I think the style convention is to add the abbrevation in parenthesis right after the first use, i.e. Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR)
 * Summary has no refs
 * Be consistent on American vs British English - since the treaty quotes use BE spellings, probably should write the whole article in BE (also in SAPR)
 * Part 3 of the Summary would read better as text (not bulleted list)
 * Biggest obstacle to GA would be lack of references for whole sections - for example, the entire Reservations section - see WP:CITE and WP:V
 * Internet refs need url, title, publisher, author if known, and date accessed. Use {{tl|cite web}} for consistency
 * Any pictures? The UN building? The building where they meet in Geneva? Jimmy Carter?
 * I am a bit mystified by the list at the end - why not also list all parties to the treaty? Also can make lists of multiple columns.
 * While I realize "States parties" is in the treaty, it is jargon and should be explained and used carefully and sparingly - see WP:JARGON

So far I've tweaked the lead, expanded the genesis section, removed the list of non-parties (something made redundent by the map anyway) and made a few minor changes here and there. I'll get to work adding more refs in the sections without them, though doI need to cite the Covenant every time I state its contents? Surely people can just read it? IdiotSavant (talk) 15:10, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Good question - since the Covenant is online and fairly short, my guess is as long as you are clearly refering to it and its section, it is OK not to cite it. You might then want to put a general note in the references explaining this. Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; {{sup| &deg; }} 13:35, 21 April 2008 (UTC)