Wikipedia:Peer review/James Hogun/archive1

James Hogun
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to get it to A-Class and then FAC as part of my goal to bring all of North Carolina's Continental Army generals up to FAC-level. I'm worried about this one because so few sources discuss him, and because he was relatively unknown. I would like several editors' opinions as to (a) whether this article is or could be made FAC-worthy, and (b) whether the article suffers from any technical or prose defects. Many thanks for your help!

Thanks,  Cdtew  (talk) 15:07, 27 June 2013 (UTC)

Comments - Dank (push to talk)
 * "was a military commander from North Carolina during the American Revolutionary War. Hogun was one of only five generals in the Continental Army from North Carolina during that conflict.": Your call of course, but my preference would be something more concise, along the lines of: was one of only five Continental Army generals from North Carolina in the American Revolutionary War.
 * "Initially a major in one of North Carolina's later-created Continental regiments ... of the regiment": Initially a major in the 7th North Carolina Regiment ... of (however  you want to describe it)
 * "interment": internment
 * "a parole, which": a parole that ("a" usually takes "that")
 * "23-years prior": 23 years prior
 * "officers commissions": officers' commissions, or officer commissions
 * "1777—78": en-dash.
 * In general, search for "due to", and consider WP:Checklist.
 * I got down to James Hogun. - Dank (push to talk) 19:05, 17 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your always-helpful reviews. I've addressed your comments, and I apologize for not having the opportunity to do so sooner.   Cdtew  (talk) 14:32, 30 July 2013 (UTC)


 * Not a problem, Clark, happy to help. - Dank (push to talk) 16:03, 30 July 2013 (UTC)

Comments: G'day, just a few minor nitpicks from me:
 * this is the wrong type of dash: "and was present at Valley Forge in the winter of 1777—78" (it should be an endash, rather than an emdash in the date range);
 * this probably needs a second comma for consistency: "to the British Army on May 12, 1780 along with approximately..." (after 1780)
 * this doesn't quite look right: "Clark, Walter (1906). "James Hogun". In Samuel A., Ashe" --> "Ashe, Samuel A."?
 * title case for consistency: "Biographical History of North Carolina from colonial times to the present" --> "Biographical History of North Carolina from Colonial Times to the Present"
 * is there a page range that could be added to the References for Clark's chapter in Ashe?
 * same as above for Rankin in Powell? Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 23:25, 27 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Thank you as well; I appreciate your comments, which I have now addressed. I'm going to see if I can get this anywhere at ACR or FAC, despite its brevity.  Cdtew  (talk) 14:32, 30 July 2013 (UTC)