Wikipedia:Peer review/Jon Mamoru Takagi/archive1

Jon Mamoru Takagi
This peer review discussion has been closed.

Hi, thanks for reviewing this page! 1. This is my first article, and I'd like general feedback on the form and content. 2. There are few Wikipedia articles on Martial Artists, and I have not seen a consistent format. Any suggestions on a good example? 3. Any suggestions on content to specifically include or exclude on the biography of a martial artist? 3. I think that the "Notable Students" section is helpful to establishing a lineage of martial arts teaching, even though not all students listed may meet the notability guidelines. Thoughts?

Thanks, Joe Shuri (talk) 22:58, 29 January 2014 (UTC)

Brianboulton comments: Hi. I see that this is your first article. There are some useful hints about writing WP articles to be found on the WP:DEV page - have you consulted this?

There are quite a few WP articles on martial arts (mainly judo and sumo) which have reached "Good Article" standard. Here are some that you might find useful:
 * Kenshiro Abbe
 * Kanō Jigorō
 * Mitsuyo Maeda
 * Yamashita Yoshiaki

These will give you some idea of the work necessary to bring your article up to a good standard. At present, your article is rather sketchy and largely unsourced. You need to do further research, to identify sources that will enable you to amplify the content. It might be worthwhile to find out who has been recently active in writing articles in this area and see if any are prepared to offer help. Or why not contact WikiProject Martial arts? You could leave a message on the project's talk page, asking for help.

I hope you find these suggestions useful. Brianboulton (talk) 00:48, 4 February 2014 (UTC)

I am not sure the subject meets notability requirements himself much less the students mentioned but so far so good with supplying references. It would be helpful to have more (as mentioned above) especially those that demonstrate notability. Please pay attention to the Manual of Style at WikiProject Martial arts - the few edits I have done to the page were to reflect that. I concur with the above that you might want to specifically ask for help the martial art project talk page. Usually a request for Peer review comes after the article has had some time to be accepted and develop but of course there is no rule about timing.

Also the above examples are probably not the best since their notability is well above your subject - I would suggest Robert Mustard (martial artist) for someone more comparable.Peter Rehse (talk) 21:30, 23 February 2014 (UTC)