Wikipedia:Peer review/Josh Tols/archive1

Josh Tols
I've listed this article for peer review because I'm interested in improving the quality of Victorian baseball articles and I'd like to get this article closer to being a good article. I'd really like comments and suggestions which would help close the gap to good article status.

Thanks, FBC Pat (talk) 21:06, 15 September 2019 (UTC)


 * Comments from NatureBoyMD
 * Use an en dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) between year ranges (i.e. 2012–2013 or 2012–13) in parenthesis or section headings.
 * When used in prose (i.e. in a sentence), year ranges should not use an en dash (2012 to 2013, not 2012–2013).
 * Tols should always be referred to as "Tols" or by a pronoun, and never as "Josh".
 * Look for additional baseball-specific terms to link: AA and AAA (though it really ought to be Double-A and Triple-A).
 * Use a template like Template:Cite web to properly format references.
 * Remember to place references after punctuation instead of floating freely in a sentence.
 * "Early life": Is there more that could be said?
 * "Career": There are a number of grammatical errors (missing words, missing punctuation) and linking errors throughout.
 * "Career": I'd recommend reorganizing the two collegiate sections into one and dropping the individual sections for each year. Then, compose solid, well-written paragraphs about each season. His season stats (win-loss, ERA, strikeouts) are generally covered, but was there anything remarkable about each season? Scouting reports? Improvements? Set backs? Being scouted? Without anything more, it reads like, "In XXXX, Tols pitched for the X and had a X-X record with X strikeouts in X.XX innings pitched" over and over and over.
 * Consider the same with the Australian Baseball and Minor Leagues sections; make each one section with several informative, but not repetitive, paragraphs.
 * As always, a picture would be nice if freely available, though these can be hard to come by.
 * In general, I'd focus on grammar, punctuation, and expanding. Take a look at Clayton Kershaw or other Baseball Biography Good Articles for ideas.
 * I'll be glad to provide any further assistance I can render. Good luck! NatureBoyMD (talk) 21:38, 30 September 2019 (UTC)