Wikipedia:Peer review/Journey (2011 video game)/archive1

Journey (2011 video game)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I've gotten all of the other Thatgamecompany articles to GA or FA, and I'd like to submit the lot as a Featured Topic, which in turn requires that articles that can't be GA'd yet (like this one) have a completed PR. I've also never written an article on a unreleased video game, so I'd like some suggestions on what to include in the article. Thanks! -- Pres N  21:55, 23 May 2011 (UTC)
 * Needs a section discussing expectations, impressions of what's been seen, etc. from reliable sources. - New Age Retro Hippie (talk) (contributions) 03:48, 24 May 2011 (UTC)


 * While the scope of the article is obviously limited, there don't appear to be any major obstacles in the way of the article appearing as part of a Featured Topic. Just remember to update the article once the game has been released. Minor points: The caption of the image is a bit uninspired - it might be worth highlighting some items mentioned in the text, such as the mountain, or finding one with two players interacting, etc. It also has no alt text available for screen-readers. The release date is mentioned in the lede and never again, and isn't referenced. I'd also agree with the above commenter that a section (or at least a few sentences in Development) on expectations (from critics or the community) would be good, especially if you can find a few choice soundbites to serve as quotations. GeeJo (t)⁄(c) &bull; 06:20, 6 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Alright, captions/alt text and release date reference added. I'll look for expectations, but most places don't really do reviews of early builds of games, even when they talk about them. -- Pres N  19:44, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this interesting article. I have read it and one of the refs cited - here are some suggestions for improvement. *In the lead, I would make the verb tense future for distribution (as it has not been distributed yet) Journey is an upcoming video game developed by Thatgamecompany for the PlayStation 3 and distributed on the PlayStation Network.
 * MOS says extended quotations need to be attributed so article needs to identify who said ''"It's about two strangers who meet online. They don't know who they are or how old they are. All they know is, that is another human being."[3]
 * Watch WP:OVERLINKing - Thatgamecompany is linked twice in two sections of the body of the article
 * wording tweak - would "trying to draw a large monster away from each other" work better in The team initially created a prototype named Dragon that involved players trying to draw away a large monster from each other, ...
 * "Co-op" seems a bit slangy - would cooperative be better (or is this a gaming term, in which case should it be linked)? The Co-op aspect of the game is intended to allow the players to feel a connection to other people through exploring with them ...
 * I read current ref 3 (from 1UP.com) and it mentions several things that are not in the article. I realize some of them might be better to incorporate once the game is released, but I thought some were worth mentioning even now.
 * although it is an online game, it does not have to be played online (can be single player or multi-player)
 * the characters do not have hands and cannot make gestures
 * The character is described as "a flowing personified ribbon of cloth" with "nubby feet"
 * Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 17:41, 7 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Hit all these points, thanks for the review! -- Pres N  20:07, 11 June 2011 (UTC)