Wikipedia:Peer review/Kampung Boy (TV series)/archive1

Kampung Boy (TV series)
This peer review discussion has been closed. While in the course of researching Lat (now a Featured Article), I had enough material to write up articles on The Kampung Boy and its animation spinoff (this article up for peer review). I plan to nominate the article about the animation as a candidate for Featured Article and seek help and opinions on any further improvements that should be made before bringing it to FAC. Thank you. Jappalang (talk) 14:27, 2 November 2010 (UTC)

Hi Jappalang! I'm not all the way through this yet, but I do have a question about sources. I did a search at my local university on Kampung Boy, and found some sources that discuss its translation and/or release in different countries, awards, performances, etc. You don't seem to cover these in the article. Was it an editorial choice, or did you lack sources that discuss it? I would of course be happy to share the sources with you, but if you made a conscious decision not to include such information, I'd be interested in the rationale. For example: There are others, but that's a start from the first page of results. -- Andy Walsh  (talk)  21:11, 7 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Comments from Laser brain
 * Abas, Azura (16 December 2006). "Lat's 'Kampung Boy' makes it big in US". New Straits Times. Discusses the release, reception, and awards in the US.
 * "Lat's 'Kampung Boy' gets the orchestra treatment". New Straits Times. 19 April 2009. Discusses a major production with the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra featuring Lat's animations, including Kampung Boy.
 * Othman, M. Husairy (14 February 2006). "'Kampung Boy' arrives in Brazil". New Straits Times. Discusses the translation into Portuguese and release in Brazil.
 * Hi Andy, it is more of an editorial decision. Most of these newspaper reports replicate each other.  Furthermore, because of the closeness of the names between the novel and the animation series, a source could be about the graphic novel, The Kampung Boy, instead of the TV series.  For example, Azura is talking about the US release of the novel.  Husairy's is a simple short article about the novel as well; it has a short blurb about the animation: "The animated version of Kampung Boy is also on the cartoon network worldwide."  The orchestra treatment piece is about Lat's Window to the World, an animation vignette accompanied by Carl Davis's score; the animation is a separate work based on Lat's novels (not just The Kampung Boy).  I believe I have pretty much used most of the sources that focus on the TV series.  Jappalang (talk) 01:18, 8 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Okay, thanks for the response. I was sure you did your due diligence, but sometimes different database searches turn up different articles. I will leave further comments soon. -- Andy Walsh  (talk)  01:22, 8 November 2010 (UTC)

This is a very nice article, and I enjoyed reading about the series. I'm curious about where I could see some episodes now! -- Andy Walsh  (talk)  16:48, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Additional comments:
 * "The stories focus on the meeting between traditional and modern ways of life, either depicting the village way of life as superior to urban lifestyles, or discussing the merits and integration of modern conveniences." I've been trying to think of a way to re-word this, but I keep coming up flat. Essentially, everything from "either" onward modifies "stories", and I think the two are way too far apart.
 * I have rewritten the lede. Jappalang (talk) 05:00, 18 November 2010 (UTC)
 * "The seeds for the animation adaptation" Use "animated" here instead? Seems a more apt adjective.
 * ✅ Jappalang (talk) 05:00, 18 November 2010 (UTC)
 * "Lat decried those productions for promoting negative values" Any examples given in the source? Would be a nice way to expand this section.
 * I'm not following the narrative from Origins to Production. You state that the Prime Minister wanted local companies to produce animation, but then you say that Lat proceeded to have his ideas produced in foreign countries. Wouldn't that have violated the spirit of the initiative?
 * Note: It makes more sense after reading to the end of Production.
 * The Malaysian government wanted to produce local content whose majority owner are locals (politics come into play here, and this is not really explored by Lent and others). Trying to explain all this here can raise all sorts of issues and undue weight.  I could remove the two lines "The Malaysian government ... to produce animation for local television." if need be.  Jappalang (talk) 05:00, 18 November 2010 (UTC)
 * "Lat was of the opinion that Lacewood had accommodated him" Again, an example might be useful to the reader. What were some of the requests he made that were accommodated?
 * Lat did not really go into specific, save to say that he was there to tell the artists what he would like to see and they just did it without question. I have expanded this.  Jappalang (talk) 05:00, 18 November 2010 (UTC)
 * "In 1995, Matinee Entertainment was engaged to complete the project; Lat started to fly back and forth between Kuala Lumpur and Los Angeles" Who engaged them? If Lat, we could re-word more smoothly as: "In 1995, Lat engaged Matinee Entertainment to complete the project and started to fly back and forth between Kuala Lumpur and Los Angeles"
 * ✅ Jappalang (talk) 05:00, 18 November 2010 (UTC)
 * "The creators of Kampung Boy deliberately refrained from copying Western and Japanese cartoons." Unsure of the meaning here. Do you mean using stylist elements from Western and Japanese cartoons?
 * Something like that, I have tweaked the sentence. Have a look.  Jappalang (talk) 05:00, 18 November 2010 (UTC)
 * "It has also attracted criticism for its similarities to United States cartoon series The Simpsons" This hasn't been discussed elsewhere, and will be a real curiosity for many Wikipedia readers. What sorts of comparisons were drawn? The animation style? The humor? Etc.
 * Rohani said they pointed to similarities between Mat's family and Bart's (without going to what sort of similarities&mdash;antics, or structure). I expanded this.  Jappalang (talk) 05:00, 18 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Rohani said they pointed to similarities between Mat's family and Bart's (without going to what sort of similarities&mdash;antics, or structure). I expanded this.  Jappalang (talk) 05:00, 18 November 2010 (UTC)
 * I have rewrote the lede and Themes and hallmarks. Jappalang (talk) 05:00, 18 November 2010 (UTC)