Wikipedia:Peer review/Kerry Ellis/archive1

Kerry Ellis
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because it hasn't had one in quite a while and much has been added since its last review. It also needs much critique to help its potential status as GA.

Thanks, Stephenjamesx (talk) 12:28, 22 April 2012 (UTC)

Finetooth comment: There is a dab, "wrench". Also, six dead URLS in the citations. Finetooth (talk) 17:10, 28 April 2012 (UTC)

Comments The Rambling Man (talk) 16:02, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Most of the time, we don't see refs in the lead because everything in the lead should be expanded upon in the main body of the article.
 * She's British so I'd expect to see this article in British English (e.g. recognized -> recognised).
 * Would link Suffolk in the lead, it's not a common place name for most of our readers.
 * " in 1998, she made" new para, so reiterate Ellis, instead of "she".
 * "After meeting rock musician" would prefer to see that as "Queen guitarist" since that's really what he is.
 * "Despite her misfortune " really? Or did she just not get through?
 * "Ellis has been expanding her " make this past tense.
 * "with rock musician Brian May" don't repeat May's first name and don't reintroduce him.
 * " second studio album with Brian May." again, no need for the Brian.
 * at the Wolsey Theatre where " qualify perhaps with "in nearby Ipswich".
 * If you really want to link pantomime, do it the first time round.
 * "Freshly graduated, " a bit tabloidy so perhaps "Following her graduation" or something more neutral in tone.
 * I think "first understudy" is worthy of a link.
 * Last two sentences of first para of Career beginnings... section are unreferenced.
 * When you abbreviate to WWRY it's in italics, when you re-use the abbreviation it isn't...
 * Several paras without a single ref probably could be improved.
 * (just a thank you: very pleased to see the tables have row and col scopes so screen readers get the best out of it!)
 * Work and Awards sections are both completely unreferenced.
 * Try to avoid SHOUTING in ref titles.
 * Not sure the BBC is a work, most likely a publisher.